Moral Culpability
by Alwayssg1
Summary: Culpability is defined as the degree to which a person can be held accountable morally or legally for their actions or inaction. Natasha thinks Steve needs to be held responsible for something that happened long ago, but Steve doesn't have a clue. This AU is a slow burn but it is definitely Romangers all the way.
1. Chapter 1

**Culpability is defined as the degree to which a person can be held accountable morally or legally for their actions or inaction. Natasha thinks Steve needs to be held responsible, but Steve doesn't have a clue. This AU is a slow burn but it is definitely Romangers all the way. Hope you enjoy it. I still don't own Marvel.**

 **1943**

Six year old Natasha woke up gasping for breath. Something was wrong. Her dark room was thick with smoke and she could see a glow coming from under her closed bedroom door. "Momma, Papa," she cried between breaths, but there was no answer. She grabbed her favorite doll from her bed and moved towards the door. It felt hot, too hot. "Momma, Papa," she called out again as she crawled across the room to open her window. She was terrified. Why weren't they answering? Why couldn't she hear her baby sister's cries? Surely, they had woken up. She looked down to the street below. People were coming. They were wailing. Had the war reached her village?

Natasha saw the man from the posters running toward her home. He had his shield on his back, just like in the poster her papa had pointed out in the square. Did this mean the soldiers were coming? She relaxed the moment he saw her small figure in the window. He looked right at her and his face morphed into the same face her father made when he was busily working on a project. He was coming for her. America's captain was going to save her.

With what seemed to be no effort at all, the soldier scaled the wall to her second story window. "Grab my neck," he ordered in perfect Russian. Natalia did as she was told, holding her rag doll between them as he quickly maneuvered them to the ground. "You're safe now, little one."

"Momma, Papa, Ana," she screamed.

Another man was beside them on the ground. Natasha recognized the old man from the square as one who sat and talked to the other old men on Saturday afternoons. The captain looked at the man. "Her family are still inside. Can you sit with the girl?"

"Of course, Captain. Do what you must," the man told the captain. "I will stay with Natalia."

The captain was gone a moment later, and Natalia could only stare after him. It didn't occur to her to wonder how this man knew her name. She was only grateful for his companionship and desperate for Captain America to save her family.

"Come, child, there is no place for you here. I am Ivan. I will take you somewhere warm while the captain does his work."

Natalia shook her head vehemently. She didn't want to leave. She needed to be here when the captain rescued Momma, Papa, and the baby. Ivan, however, didn't take no for an answer. He scooped Natalia up into his arms, causing her to drop her doll on the ground, and took off.

Natalia was out of tears by the time Ivan arrived at his destination. They had been walking for such a long time, and she still did not know whether the captain had saved her family or not, but she was certain the man she was with was not a good man. He had made several comments about how she would be helping him pay off a debt. When she whimpered, he told her Madame B would not tolerate tantrums. Something wasn't right. Why had Captain America left her with this man? He was supposed to be a hero. That's what Papa told her.

Over the next several years, Natalia would be taught a different truth. She would learn that Captain America hadn't saved her at all. He sentenced her to a fate worse than death, and she vowed never to forgive him.

 **2011**

"Can you believe we've finally found him?" Phil Coulson asked, the childlike wonder evident in his face. "This is the most exciting day of my life."

Natasha raised an eyebrow. "Seriously, Coulson, you should get out more."

"Nat, that's Steve Rogers thawing out in there, and he has a heartbeat. On ice for over sixty years, and he's alive. Even if he weren't the greatest hero of all time, this would be the very definition of exciting," Phil replied.

Clint just shrugged his shoulders. "Coulson's got a point, Nat. This is a big deal."

Natasha glared at both men briefly before excusing herself to her quarters. She hadn't been there when they pulled Roger's from the ice, but she couldn't stay away once she realized he was alive. This wretched man had destroyed her life. If she hadn't gone straight, she would personally make sure he never woke up. But, killing Captain America would certainly add red to her ledger in most people's opinions. She just wanted to see him. Did he even remember the little girl he had handed over to a kidnapper? Did he even care? If she could just get a good gauge on him then she'd have her answer then she could decide what to do with the information.

Her phone buzzed. It was Fury. "Romanoff, I've got an assignment for you."

"Please, no," Natasha thought as she tried to find her voice to answer. "Do you need me to go back to Moscow?"

"Moscow? No, Moscow is covered. You're on Captain America duty."

"I'm not a babysitter. Let Coulson sit with the sleeping soldier," Natasha replied.

"Not a chance. The man is a total fan boy. Steve Rogers is waking up in a new century. I've got things in place to prevent him from realizing it right away, but I need my best spy in the room. You'll be able to monitor his emotions. Keep him in that room, Romanoff. Rogers doesn't find out when he is until I give the okay. You got it?"

Natasha sighed. "Yes, sir." Natasha tossed the phone on her bed in anger. She should have stayed in Moscow. She wanted to get a read on Rogers not be stuck with him. She briefly considered telling Fury the truth, but she figured it wouldn't matter. Knowing Fury, it was possible he already knew she was older than she'd claimed, but there was no one alive who knew the hell Captain America had put her through.

She pulled out a piece of paper from her desk and wrote the word culpability then she added two question marks. This was her mission and hers alone. She would get her answer then she would decide his fate. No one else needed to be involved.

Two days later, Natasha found Steve awake in his room. She had to admit that he was good. It didn't take long for him to see through the elaborate charade Fury had set up. It really hadn't been her intention to let him escape, but coming face to face with the man who destroyed her life set her off-balance. She hated being off-balance. She didn't enjoy the tongue-lashing she received from Fury much either.

"You failed, Romanoff, and you never fail," Fury shouted. "A rookie could have done a better job than you just did. Go back to Moscow. Just deal with the mafia ring, and I'll find someone else to deal with Rogers."

"I'm sorry, sir," Natasha replied softly. In her mind it wasn't Fury chastising her, it was Madame B.

"You must be the best, Natalia. Failure is not an option. The Americans will recreate their super serum, and you will face foes much stronger than your Captain America," Madame B had told her. "I will not tolerate weakness. Never forget what their super soldier did to you. He abandoned you. You were nothing to him. He had probably forgotten your name by the time they gave him a medal for rescuing you. He handed you over to us like you were nothing, and you were nothing. We made you everything you are, Natalia, and you are the perfect weapon. You will kill each and every super soldier they create. It is your destiny. It is you're right."

 **Yes, it is an angsty and awful start. This one has been floating around in my brain for months. I originally offered it to another writer who wisely opted out. How do we go from this moment to Romangers? Tune in and find out. This one won't be an easy fix. Remember it is an AU, so don't expect an easy friendship to develop between Steve and Nat right away, but I have a plan.**


	2. Chapter 2

Steve had only been back among the living a few weeks when he found himself sitting inside Maria Hill's New York office. While he still wasn't ready to consider Shield's offer to put him to work, he did appreciate the legwork they'd done to get him settled. He was no longer legally dead, so that was something. They had helped him get a small apartment in Brooklyn and freed up his funds. Apparently, he had been due quite a bit of back pay. His eyes bulged when he looked at the numbers, but Maria assured him he'd need a lot of money to survive in today's economy. It still didn't seem right to Steve, but he was relieved he didn't need to make any immediate decisions on the job front.

"Some of your personal items were on display at the Captain America museum," Maria informed him. "I've taken the liberty of having them delivered to your apartment. The museum requested another few weeks to make changes to the display then they'll be all yours again."

"Thank you, Agent Hill. You've done a lot."

"Maria, please. It's my job, Captain Rogers. No thanks are necessary."

"Call me Steve. I don't know if the military is exactly the right fit for me anymore. My war ended a long time ago. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure glad we won, but I'm just not sure what to do with myself now."

"There is always a war. You could take the director up on his offer."

"I don't think I'm ready for that."

Maria gave him an understanding nod. "Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"Well, there is one thing. I'd like to know what happened to the Howling Commandos. They were my team." Steve sucked a deep breath in before asking the question that was really bothering him. "Also, I worked very closely with Peggy, um, Margaret Carter and Howard Stark."

Maria smiled. "I'll get you the information on the Commandos as quickly as possible, but I can help you with the other two right now. Mr. Stark passed away several years ago. He and Director Carter were founding members of Shield. Peggy Carter is still alive. She's suffering from dementia, but I hear she still has her good days. Let me get you the address of her residential facility."

"Peggy's alive?"

"Yes, she is in D.C. Would you like for me to arrange a trip for you?"

"No thank you. The address will be enough. I might as well start figuring out how to get around in the 10's," Steve replied.

Maria smiled. "Let me give you your first tip. Nobody calls it the 10's." She handed Steve a small piece of paper that had an odd, sticky substance on it's back and Peggy's address on the front. Steve made a funny face as his finger stuck to the paper. "It's called a sticky note. They come in really handy."

"Thank you, ma'am." Steve carefully folded the sticky edge to where it attached to the paper and placed it in his wallet before saying goodbye to Maria and making his way out of her office.

Deciding he didn't want to waste anymore time, he took off for D.C. a few hours later.

 **Moscow**

Natasha's current assignment was slow going, so she had plenty of time to work on her side project. She sat in her hotel room looking through archived articles about Steve Rogers. He had certainly been a scrawny little guy before the serum. The archives said Erskine chose him based on his moral character. Natasha rolled her eyes as she jotted that detail done in her notes.

Howard Stark, Tony's womanizing father, spent a fortune trying to locate Steve's final resting place. He was the first to theorize what would eventually be proven true. He believed there was a possibility the serum and the frozen temperatures could keep Steve alive in a state of suspended animation. Having worked with Tony and read up on Howard, Natasha decided she could add 'questionable alliances' to her list. If he was that close of a friend of Howard's, he couldn't have had too good of a 'moral character' she decided.

Still, she really didn't have anymore to go on than she'd had for years. Eventually, she was going to need to interrogate Steve Rogers, but she would have to tread carefully. Her secrets needed to stay her own. He didn't have the right to know her age. That was something she hadn't even told Clint, and she saw no reason to paint another target on her own back by letting information about her own serum out for trouble makers to try and steal.

This particular mission would need to be handled delicately, and it wasn't something she could accomplish overnight. She yawned as she looked at the clock on the bedside table then put her notes away. "Moscow first then Steve Rogers," she whispered before turning off the light.

 **Manhattan**

Steve looked over at Natasha as she attempted to eat her shawarma. He could tell the assassin was just picking at her food, and he got it. He wasn't exactly hungry after fighting off Loki and the Chitari either, and his metabolism usually meant he was always hungry. Everyone around the table had impressed him over the past 24 hours, but the beautiful red headed woman had blown him away. She was tiny but feisty. This dame went head to head with the Hulk, and when she used his shield as a trampoline, he thought he was going to pass out. It was the kind of thing Peggy might have tried if the situation warranted it.

He was grateful he had gotten in a visit with Peggy before the invasion. As hard as it was to see her so frail, he was grateful she was alive. If the pictures were any indication, she had a good life. He still wished it could have included him, but he couldn't begrudge her the happiness she had found. Seeing Peggy made him feel less alone and more alone at the same time, but fighting beside Natasha and the others had felt right.

He must have been staring at Natasha while he was lost in thought, because eventually she cleared her throat. "Do I have food on my face, Rogers?"

"Excuse me?" he asked.

"Do I have something on my face? In this century, staring is considered rude."

"I'm sorry, ma'am. I was just thinking."

"Anything you want to share with the class?"

"Share with the class?"

"It's just an expression," Natasha replied. "I forgot I was talking to a fossil. It means do you want to tell us what you were thinking about?"

Steve blushed slightly. "I was just thinking it was nice to fight with a team again actually. I guess it probably sounds a little silly, but fighting aliens in Manhattan is probably the first thing that's felt normal since I woke up."

Natasha's expression softened slightly then Steve watched as her mask went firmly back into place. "If fighting aliens is your version of normal, you are one very strange individual."

"Take it easy on the captain, Nat," Clint interrupted. "It's not like any of us are normal. He did good out there. We won."

"it was an honor fighting at your side," Thor added. "I did not expect Midgard to have warriors of your caliber. I am only sorry my brother's mischief caused such turmoil."

As they were speaking, the door opened and Fury walked inside. "Loki's mischief, as you called it, has changed the playing field. You did good out there, but people are hurting and afraid. Shield has worked very diligently to keep threats like these from the public's knowledge." He looked directly at Steve before continuing. "Peggy Carter personally addressed each group of new recruits in her day, and the key points of her speech never changed. She would remind those new agents that they signed up for the dangers, not the civilians, then she would insist on one thing. Minimize civilian casualties by leaving a small footprint. In other words, protect the people by keeping them from knowing things they didn't sign up to learn.

"Loki has changed the playing field. I'm going to take a hit for this, but Mr. Odinson, you may take the prisoner home. I'm doing this in good faith. I don't want trouble with Asgard."

"I assure you, my father will appreciate your gesture," Thor replied.

"I have another reason. I want the people of this world to feel safe again. That can't happen if they know Loki is locked up on Earth. With this new landscape, I'm going to need to call on all of you from time to time. Can I count on you?"

Tony spoke first. "I have no intention of standing on the sidelines and watching Earth fall to alien invaders. You know how to reach me."

"I honestly prefer being alone," Bruce replied, "but I'll be around if you need me."

"Captain? Ready to talk about that job?" Fury asked.

"I'm getting closer. I need to take care of a few personal things first, tie up a few loose ends."

"Loose ends? You were out for a long time. What kinds of ends could still need tying?" Natasha huffed.

"Personal ones, Agent Romanoff," Steve replied. "Seeing Howard's son and fighting at his side made me even more determined to check on the families of my friends. Agent Hill gave me a list of addresses. It looks like I need to take a little road trip."

"You do realize most of your friends are probably dead," Natasha replied coolly.

"Tasha," Clint warned.

"It's okay, Agent Barton. Agent Romanoff isn't wrong, but it's still the right thing to do."

Steve was slightly taken back when Natasha rolled her eyes, but he decided she was probably just as tired as the rest of them. He listened as Clint informed Fury he would be taking some time off. He couldn't help noticing the expression on Natasha's face when he made the announcement. "She must be Clint's girl," he thought, surprising himself that he was a little disappointed.

Fury and the Avengers left the restaurant one by one. Soon, only Steve, Natasha, and Clint remained. "I'm heading out tonight," Clint said, pulling Natasha into a hug. "Thank you for not giving up on me."

"I could never give up on you," Natasha replied, kissing his cheek.

Steve looked down at his feet uncomfortably. The moment seemed intimate and he didn't want to interrupt. When Clint left and Steve realized it was just the two of them, he was a little taken back. Why hadn't Clint got his girl home?

"Can I get you somewhere, Agent Romanoff?" Steve asked.

"I'm perfectly capable of getting myself where I need to go," Natasha replied.

"I, um, I didn't mean to imply you couldn't," Steve stammered, "but, in my day, a gentleman always offered to walk a lady home. It's not right to leave a lady to find her own way. What if something happens?"

"Let me get this straight, Rogers, you don't want to leave me, the Black Widow, alone on the streets of New York because you're afraid something could happen to me?"

Steve's eyes grew wide. She was obviously angry. "I-" he stopped. "Look, Agent Romanoff, I am sorry if I offended you. It's a new century for me. In my day, guys were just a little more protective of women and children. I've seen you fight. It was wrong for me to assume you needed protection."

"Women and children," Natasha muttered. "Are you trying to tell me you never left a woman or a child in danger?"

"I didn't say that, but I never did it intentionally," Steve replied.

"I'm out of here, Rogers. Get yourself a book or two on the modern world. You've got a lot of catching up to do."


	3. Chapter 3

"Romanoff, sit," Fury commanded as soon as walked into his office. Natasha slipped the door closed and took a seat. "You're back on the strike team effective immediately."

"Okay, what's the crisis? Should I call Clint and see if he's ready for action?" Natasha asked, pulling her phone from her pocket.

"Negative. It's only been a few weeks. Barton's going to need more time, and there isn't currently a situation that requires a strike team."

Natasha gave Fury a puzzled look. "Then why do you want me on strike?"

"Rogers has accepted my offer. I'm giving him the team. You are to be his familiar face."

"Babysitting duty again? It didn't work out in your favor last time," Natasha complained.

"And, I trust it will work much better this time around," Fury paused. "You two worked well together in New York. What's your beef with Rogers?"

"I have no beef with Rogers," Natasha lied. "I do, however, have a problem with being under utilized. We both know this is not my primary skillset."

"It's your primary skillset I need at the moment, Romanoff."

Natasha closed her eyes briefly and took a deep breath. This was not happening. Yes, she could use a little time with Rogers to collect her evidence, but Fury couldn't seriously be asking her to treat his prized super soldier like a mark. "No," she finally replied, "I'm not doing it. I'm not even his type, so it wouldn't work anyway."

"Excuse me? Did you just defy a direct order?"

"I did. Why would you even suggest I seduce Rogers in the first place? You got him where you want him. He's going to work for Shield."

"I have some concerns about Rogers," Fury replied. "He's a good man and a fine soldier, but he doesn't understand the world he woke up in and that could make him very easy prey for someone with less than honorable intentions."

"These are less than honorable intentions!"

"I'm not asking you to sleep with him. Just be his friend. Keep him busy. Flirt a little. For a guy as old school as Steve Rogers, that'll be enough." Fury handed her a bank statement. Rogers name was at the top. "Do you see all these cash withdrawals? Any idea why Steve Rogers has pulled out so much money in the last few week?"

Natasha glanced at the paper. "He said he was taking a trip. Maybe he's bad at budgeting."

"$42,000 in cash in two weeks, Romanoff, and it doesn't raise any red flags to you?"

Natasha sighed. Of course, it raised a few flags, but she couldn't tell Fury about her own investigation. She decided to change tactics. "I'm still not the right choice. You want us to be Avengers when the time comes right? Well, I have no intention of being Captain America's sweetheart for the rest of my life, so you need to choose someone else. I'll be on the strike team. I'll even help him learn to navigate the current time if you want, but I can't seduce him."

Fury leaned back in his chair. She had him. "You make a good point. I've got Agent 13 already posing as his neighbor. We'll leave this assignment for her."

"Good call. She's probably more his speed. I can see Rogers falling for her type."

Fury laughed softly. "I hope so, Romanoff, but I think you'd be a little surprised by his type, as you put it. If 13 can't pull this off and my suspicions prove correct, you are my nuclear option. This is what you were trained for, isn't it? The Red Room's philosophy was to use red-blooded American men's greatest weakness against them. For now, however, you are dismissed."

Natasha went straight to her apartment after meeting with Fury, pleased that her crisis had been narrowly avoided. She immediately pulled out her notebook. "$42,000 cash in two weeks," she said as she wrote the words on a sticky note and placed it in the back of the notebook. Her system was pretty simple. She had three distinct sections in her notebook. In one section, she wrote all the evidence against him. In the other, she wrote things that went in his favor. Anything she wasn't sure about went on a sticky note and was stuck in the back of the notebook under the heading TBD. The to be decided category was a new addition she added after the Battle of New York, and it was currently the largest section in her book.

Steve Rogers was a mystery. He seemed to be the hero the world and her father thought he was but she was living proof he couldn't possibly be that man. The truth had to be out there somewhere, and she was going to find it.

The next morning, she walked into headquarters with her duffle bag on her arm. If she was stuck on strike for awhile, at least she could get in some good workouts beating up low level agents. She was halfway to the gym when she heard a familiar voice behind her.

"Agent Romanoff, do you have a minute?" Steve's voice called out. She sighed. He really was a rookie if he thought it was safe to interrupt the Black Widow on her way to pound on new recruits.

"What do you need, Rogers?"

Steve caught up to her and smiled. "Well, it's probably going to sound silly, but I think I need you."

Natasha raised and eyebrow. "Come again?"

"I mean, um, let me try this again. It's my first day and I'm a little out of my element. I only know three of you. Maria, um Agent Hill, is working out of New York right now doing damage control. Fury honestly scares me, and that leaves-"

"Me," Natasha finished for him. "What's the problem?"

"I have an office."

"I should hope so," Natasha replied.

"Yeah, well, it's locked, and the lady in Human Resources didn't give me a key. Even if she had, I can't find a key hole."

"Your badge," Natasha replied. Steve looked even more confused as he held up his badge. "Your badge is your key. Honestly, Rogers, I thought you were taking a trip. Didn't any of the hotels you stayed at have card keys?"

"I didn't stay in a hotel. I stayed with the daughter of an old war buddy."

"You don't say," Natasha smirked. Inwardly, she filed the information away for her undecided category. "Let's go to your office, and I'll show you how to get inside." Once they were in Steve's office, Steve looked even more bewildered. "It's a laptop. I know you've seen others in the building on these. You really are helpless, aren't you? Sit down. I'll give you a crash course then we'll get you a tutor from HR. You can tell me about your trip while we work."

"Not much to tell, honestly. The Commandos are all gone. I stayed with Dum Dum's family. His daughter shared lots of stories with me. She, apparently, grew up hearing about the war and went with her dad to lots of Howling Commandos reunions. It was nice to see that Dum Dum and his family had a good life."

"Dum Dum? I thought he was your friend," Natasha laughed as she tried to draw just a little more information from him.

"His name was Timothy Dugan, but nobody called him that. He was a good man, one of the finest I ever knew. His daughter was the light of his life. I'm grateful I got to see her again."

"Again? Visit with Dugan's family during the war, did you?"

"Not exactly. It's kind of a long story that I'd rather not share if you don't mind. She was just a baby when I saw her. I'm glad her life has been so happy."

"A baby in the 40's? And, here I thought you'd found yourself a girl. She's what? Pushing 70?"

"Something like that, but she's just a kid to me."

"Rogers, you may be an old man but you're in a young man's body. You need a nice girl your own age," she replied matter of factly, hoping she was setting the stage for Sharon. She desperately needed Sharon to be successful.

With Steve settling into his new office and having collected a little more information for her investigation, Natasha finally took off for the gym and her much needed workout. On her way out the door, she swung by Fury's office and gave him the little bit of information she could afford to share and went home to her research.

The next few weeks were actually pretty routine. Training with Rogers wasn't as bad as Natasha expected. Tactically, he knew what he was doing. The only unnerving thing about her current predicament was Rogers' seemingly unending need for her assistance with simple, modern day conveniences. She tried to pass as many of his dilemmas onto other agents as possible, but Fury noticed and had an issue with her "behavior", as he called it. So, Natasha finally decided to give in and take one for the team.

She invited him over for a lesson in modern culture, or rather a movie night. It was just as well as far as she was concerned since her research into the Dugan family hadn't really gotten her very far. Dum Dum Dugan was just you're average soldier turned family man as far as Natasha could tell. His daughter was born while he was fighting in the war, and the dates didn't exactly add up but Natasha figured if the dead man never figured out his wife was unfaithful, what did it matter to her? She temporarily nursed the notion that Steve might have fathered the baby, but those dates didn't quite add up either. Steve wouldn't have even had the super serum when the girl was conceived, and she couldn't see scrawny Steve Rogers managing to get the attention of Dum Dum's wife. The woman was actually very pretty. She had curly red hair and green eyes, traits her daughter obviously inherited. She apparently didn't have the best health though. From, what Natasha could dig up, the woman died when her daughter was ten and Dum Dum raised the girl alone. There just wasn't anything to the Dugan story that made Steve any more or less responsible for what happened to her. She knew Fury was doing his own investigation to make sure Steve wasn't compromised, but it didn't concern her.

Steve arrived exactly at 7 p.m. Natasha thought it was almost funny how prompt he was and she teased him about it. "What'd you do, Rogers? Stand in the hallway until the clock struck seven then knock on the door?"

Steve blushed slightly. "Um, yes. I didn't want to be too early but I didn't want to be late either. Mam said never to keep a woman waiting, and Bucky said dames, I mean, women, could get real mad could get mad if you weren't on time."

"Mam? Bucky?" Natasha asked, trying to stifle her amusement.

"My ma and Bucky. Bucky Barnes was my best friend. We grew up together. He was a commando, too. He didn't make it back from the war, but he was a real lady's man."

Natasha frowned slightly. "Rogers, you do know this isn't a date right? It's more of a training session. Fury wants you up-to-date on the twenty-first century."

Steve got even redder. Natasha realized he definitely had thought this was a date, but Steve did manage to deny it. "Of course not," Steve replied. "I figured you were Clint's girl."

"Clint's girl?"

"You were so worried about him. Did I misread?"

Natasha weighed her options carefully. Would it really hurt to tell this lie? Laura would probably find the story amusing if Natasha ever explained everything to her. "Well, I guess it is fair to say that as long as I have Clint, I've got everything I need." It was more of an evasion than a lie. As long as Clint, Laura, and the kids were around, she really was content. She'd had enough romance to last a lifetime-multiple lifetimes. It was a downfall of her longevity. Men today just couldn't hold her interest. She figured it had something to do with their lack of shared life experiences. She had scaled the Berlin Wall. They looked at pieces of it in museums on school field trips.

Natasha popped some popcorn and turned on the first movie. She decided she should probably look into Bucky Barnes and see if he was another questionable alliance or if he really was nothing more than a scrawny kid from Brooklyn's best friend.

 **This story is actually writing itself pretty quickly. Tomorrow's chapter is already finished. The action is about to pick up. Hold on tight.**


	4. Chapter 4

Natasha's first reaction when she started looking into Barnes was revulsion. Very few men had ever gotten the best of her in battle, yet the man in the picture had beaten her. She'd never known his given name. They called him the Winter Soldier, and he never missed a target. Her one and only encounter with him had been shortly after she joined Shield, and she still wore the scar where he shot her.

This was impossible. Rogers said his friend died in the war, and even if he hadn't, the man should be pushing a hundred by now. Was he given a serum of his own? Did Rogers know? Natasha immediately dismissed that thought. Whatever James Barnes was involved in, Rogers was clueless about it. She decided the Winter Soldier note would go straight to the back of the book, and closed the tab on her screen just as Steve walked into her office.

"Am I disturbing anything?" he asked.

"Just a little research. What do you need, Rogers? Having trouble figuring out the kruieg?"

"No," Steve blushed, "that one was surprisingly easy. Actually, I was wondering if you'd mind coming to my place? Not a date, I'm not trying to move in on Barton's girl or anything, but Hill arranged for some of my personal things that were on exhibit to be delivered later and," he paused, "I could use a friend. I'm not sure what I'm going to find." He stopped talking and shook his head. "I'm being ridiculous. Forget I asked. I'm a grown man. I shouldn't be afraid of couple of boxes."

Steve turned to leave, but Natasha stopped him. "Wait, Rogers, I'll go with you."

Steve turned, a smile on his face, "You will? I don't want to impose."

"Sure, it'll be fun. I'm sure it'll give me more ammunition to tease you with," Natasha replied. "And, I could get the lead I need," she added mentally.

"I really appreciate it, Romanoff."

They weren't at the apartment more than a few minutes when the delivery arrived. Steve carefully opened the first box. It was mainly pictures. Steve held one up and smiled. "This one hung over the fireplace. It's my ma and pa. It was taken when they were newlyweds." Natasha nodded then Steve picked up another. "Me and Bucky at the World's Fair, that was a good day. See the two girls in the background? One was supposed to be my date, but they both preferred Buck. I didn't mind though. They weren't really my kind of girls anyway."

Natasha noticed a change when Steve picked up a picture of himself with Howard Stark and Peggy Carter. "That's Tony's dad." Natasha watched as his fingers delicately touched Peggy's face then he looked up with a serious expression. "Do you know what fondue is?"

"I do," Natasha replied, slightly puzzled.

"It doesn't have anything to do with relations between a man and a woman, does it?"

Natasha tried not to laugh. "Where'd you get that idea? It's food. We can try it sometime if you want?" she offered, remembering Fury's order for her to work harder in her attempt to help Rogers adjust.

Steve's face went red. "No, I'm not fonduing with anyone's girl. I was just remembering a conversation from the war. Thanks for being here with me." Steve grinned as he picked up the next picture. "Dum Dum is the one in the middle. I didn't even know this picture existed." He flipped it over. "Donated by Annette Dugan-Clark, that's Dum Dum's daughter."

Natasha just nodded. She already knew that from her personal research, but Rogers didn't need that information. The second box had a note that read CONTENTS OF STEVE ROGERS' PACK AT THE TIME OF HIS DISAPPEARANCE. Steve held the note for a moment before gently folding it and sitting it aside. Natasha waited patiently while he took out normal odd and ends a soldier would have carried in his pack. Her heart started to pound as he gently lifted a little rag doll-her rag doll.

It took a moment for her to find her voice. "What's this?" she asked, desperate to know why her doll would have been among the items he carried throughout Europe.

"A reminder," he said solemnly before carefully placing the doll back into the box.

"Of?" Natasha prompted.

"I don't want to talk about it," Steve replied with a little more venom than she expected.

"And, that only makes a spy more curious," she replied, picking up her doll for the first time in nearly seventy years.

"Let's just say, I was hoping I'd get to return it to it's owner, but I never got the chance."

"Why not?" she pushed. She was so close to getting her answer.

"Because I failed!" Steve shouted, yanking the doll from Natasha's hands. "I'm sorry. It's just a sore subject, okay. I was in Russia with the Howling Commandos and Peggy. We shouldn't have been where we were and we were trying to get back on course when I saw a house burning. I looked up and saw a little girl in a second story window. She looked so afraid. I got her out then I lost track of her. This doll is all that is left of Natalia."

Natasha fought back her need to scream. He remembered her name. It took her a moment to regain her composure. "I'm not sure how rescuing a little girl translates into failing," she finally said, hoping to drag out more information.

"I tried to rescue her parents but they were dead before the fire started. There was a bullet hole in each of their heads. By the time I got back to where I left the girl, she was gone."

"I'm sorry. I've got to go. I just remembered something I was supposed to do for Fury. I know I said I'd-"

"It's okay. I understand," Steve replied.

Natasha made it out the door and halfway down the hallway before the nausea overwhelmed her. Sharon was walking into her apartment, so Natasha made a beeline in her direction. Sharon looked around before letting her inside. Natasha went straight to the bathroom and threw up.

When she came out, Sharon was standing there with a cool, wet wash cloth. "You shouldn't be here," Sharon warned. "If Steve sees you-"

"He won't," Natasha replied, shaking her head. "He was preoccupied. He didn't see me come inside."

"What was that about?" Sharon asked, nodding slightly toward the bathroom.

"I guess I picked up a bug," Natasha lied.

"You never get sick."

"I rarely get sick," Natasha replied, and that part was true. Her serum was a nice protection from germs, but it wasn't perfect.

"Hmmm," Sharon replied, "well, I guess we should figure out how to sneak you out."

Natasha nodded. "How's it going with Rogers? Any progress on your mission?"

Sharon rolled her eyes. "It shouldn't be my mission. I was supposed to be security and back up."

"What's the problem? I'm sure you've had the training."

"It's complicated. I'd just rather not be the one who played Captain America, okay? Besides, Steve Rogers would never be interested in a nurse who lives in his building. You've heard the stories about Peggy Carter?" Sharon asked. Natasha nodded. She'd found quite a bit out about Peggy throughout her investigation. "You'd have been the smarter play. Fury should have known better."

"I said no," Natasha paused. "It wouldn't be a good idea. We are members of the Avengers Initiative. If Rogers figured out what I'd done to 'secure his loyalty' to Shield, we wouldn't be able to work together."

Sharon gave her a look she couldn't quite define before responding. "All the same, I have no intention of sleeping with Captain America."

"I thought everyone wanted to bed the captain," Natasha teased, trying to lighten the mood and find a way out of the conversation.

"Apparently, we are the exceptions to the rule," Sharon replied. "I'll take the super soldier some fresh baked cookies, while you make your escape." Natasha watched as Sharon pulled a few cookies from a Jason's Deli bag and placed them on a plate. She shrugged. "He'll never know the difference."

Natasha went straight to her notebook when she got home. She carefully wrote the notes "doll in Rogers' possession" and "remembered my name" under the category in his favor. She sighed as she wrote "bullets to the head" on a sticky note and added it to the back of the notebook. After all these years, she now knew their fate. Her parents were killed before the fire even started. Why? It made no sense, and, sadly, Steve Rogers wouldn't be able to give her that particular answer.

Knowing Rogers had regrets about the night softened Natasha a little, but she wasn't sure it was enough. His ignorance destroyed her life. "The verdict is still out," she muttered and closed her notebook.

Natasha didn't sleep well that night, so she opted to go in to work a little late. She ran into an irritated Maria before she'd even made it to the gym.

"Fury wants to see you now," Maria informed her. "Agent 13 is with him."

"Sharon shouldn't be showing her head around the triskelion. She'll blow her cover."

"Rogers is out for at least the rest of the week. Said he had personal business out of town. Don't keep the director waiting. He isn't in a good mood."

Natasha nodded and headed for Fury's office. As soon as she made it into the room, Fury spoke. "Sit." Natasha did as she was told, chancing a glance at Sharon as she took her seat. Sharon looked nervous, so Natasha braced herself for whatever lecture was coming. "Did either of you know Rogers was making another trip to Boston?"

Sharon shook her head at the same time as Natasha. "He doesn't tell me all of his plans," Natasha replied.

"Oh, I know that's the truth," Fury grumbled. "That's also the problem. You're good spies, and you've been briefed on the importance of your mission, but neither of you have given it even an ounce of effort."

Sharon spoke first. "When I asked for this assignment, it was supposed to be a security detail with minimal contact with the captain. You know good and well why I don't want to be his girlfriend. You should have went with Agent Romanoff like we discussed."

"Like we discussed?" Natasha repeated. "You suggested me to Fury? Why would you do that?"

"Because it was the right play," Sharon said defensively. "Captain Rogers never understood the rules of engagement when it came to romance in the 40's, and he needs someone to help him start living again. Without the right person, he'll either be miserably pining for Peggy Carter or, like Fury said, he'll be easy prey for a, forgive my choice of words, black widow."

"I am the Black Widow."

"And, you know you weren't the first or the last Red Room graduate," Sharon replied.

Natasha glared at her then turned his attention to Fury. "How does she know so much about me? My file is sealed. We had an agreement."

"I didn't break our agreement, Romanoff. Agent 13 has another source. Her source has a vested interest in Rogers," Fury paused, "and you."

"Excuse me?" Natasha asked.

"Agent 13, I suggest you tell her."

"I didn't want preferential treatment or any extra targets on my back when I joined Shield, so I chose not to share my last name publicly. My name is Sharon Carter and I'm Peggy's niece. I grew up hearing stories about Captain America from Aunt Peg. She loved him, and he felt the same way about her. She also talked quite a bit about her experiences after the war, and she had run ins with Red Room graduates. She and the Howling Commandos even had a run in with a trainee after the war. Bringing down the Red Room is the one mission Aunt Peg never fully completed."

Natasha only nodded. She very vaguely remembered one of those run ins. Living such a long life had it's advantages. The human brain wasn't wired to remember so much life experience. She had probably forgotten more things than most people ever even experienced. Since doing her research on Dugan, she had recalled why he looked familiar. He and, apparently Peggy Carter, had found the facility once. She escaped by beating him up. "Why didn't you tell me you knew about the Red Room?" she asked Sharon.

"I figured you wanted that file sealed for a reason," Sharon replied. "I'm honestly surprised there was a Red Room by the eighties."

"It was still the height of the Cold War," Natasha replied. Of course, Natasha had long since graduated but she wasn't going to divulge that information.

"If you ladies are finished, can we get back to the matter at hand?" Fury asked. "Rogers is back in Boston with Dugan's family and I need to know why. We are changing tactics. Carter, as soon as Rogers returns, you are coming clean. Tell him part of the truth. Tell him you are Shield and tell him your relationship with Peggy Carter. You can tell him you were on security detail, but leave out the rest."

"Yes, sir," Sharon replied.

"Then get to Boston and find out what's going on with the Dugan family and Steve Rogers. Go as Peggy's niece. It'll get you in the door. I need to know why he's giving them all of this money."

"Yes, sir. And, my other assignment?"

"Seducing Steve Roger's is no longer on your agenda," Fury replied. "Romanoff, build his trust. He's not going to be happy when he learns Shield put a security detail on him. Convince him you knew nothing."

"I can do that," Natasha replied.

"Good, because I have a few suspicions and it will be your job to get them confirmed."

"Can I ask what we are looking for?" Sharon asked.

Fury glared at her briefly before answering. "There are some red flags with Dugan's daughter and granddaughter. Dugan's daughter married an MI6 agent in the late sixties. He was highly decorated and one of the best until he was caught making unauthorized trips into the Soviet Union. He made eleven trips over the course of two years. The British government could find no evidence of wrong doing, but he was still dismissed from his position. The couple moved to Annette's hometown of Boston and eventually had a daughter. Her name is Elizabeth, and she's a recently widowed mother with two daughters of her own.

"We have reason to believe, she is the recipient of the missing money. Either Captain America is her new sugar daddy or-"

"He could be just helping the granddaughter of an old friend," Sharon suggested.

"Maybe, but her husband died in the plane crash last fall. Remember the Russian passenger jet that crashed leaving Moscow? Why was a high school shop teacher in Moscow alone while his wife was sitting at home eight months pregnant?"

"I don't know," Sharon replied.

"Find out. Your dismissed," he paused and looked at Natasha, "you, stay."

Natasha nodded and silently prayed, "Please, not the nuclear option."

 **And, now we are ready to get into our story. Agent Carter fans might have picked up on the Red Room reference. In my story, the girl Dugan found was Natasha. Also, if you have read my previous stories, you know I refuse to villianize Sharon or Bruce. I just don't like the MCU shipping them with Steve and Natasha after setting up the perfect romance in The Winter Soldier. This story is fully plotted out and it's been much easier to write than I expected. I'm actually writing a few chapters a day, so there shouldn't be many delays over Christmas. Hope you're still enjoying it. Comment with your theories and tune in tomorrow for the next chapter.**


	5. Chapter 5

"You already know what I'm going to ask," Fury said, his tone more courteous than usual. "Are you going to tell me no again?"

"Shouldn't we wait until the threat has been fully assessed?" Natasha asked.

"No. Regardless of her threat status, a woman with children puts our main agenda at risk. We need a super soldier not a family man," Fury insisted. "Listen, you probably won't even have to sleep with the man. I'd almost be willing to bet he's the oldest virgin on the planet anyway. Just give him a girl in D.C. He'll be happy and we'll have our soldier. But, if the situation requires it, I need you to do what has to be done."

"Has to be done?" Natasha repeated.

"Don't make me spell it out for you, Romanoff," Fury said as he glared at her from across his desk.

"I may have insinuated that I was with Clint," Natasha admitted.

"With Barton?" Fury laughed. "Why on Earth would you do that?"

"I was afraid his interest in me would prevent Sharon from completing her mission."

"Well, it's your mission now, so I suggest you fix this misunderstanding and get to work," Fury replied. "When he gets back from Boston, I want you with him every waking minute. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir," Natasha replied.

"Good, you are dismissed."

Natasha couldn't resist getting a private look inside Steve's apartment. She had left before he finished going through the boxes, and she was still annoyed at herself for allowing her emotions to get the better of her. Of course, finding out your parents were murdered on the same night you were kidnapped would be hard on anyone, but she should have seen through her investigation.

The boxes were still in the living room. Natasha opened the one she was curious about and started rummaging through it's contents. The rag doll was missing. She opened the other boxes and quickly, but carefully searched each one. It was gone. "Where did you put it, Rogers?" She eventually swept through the entire apartment. It was nowhere to be found. Once everything was back in it's proper place she let herself out and went home.

Natasha dialed a very familiar number from her secure phone as soon as she got in the door. "Hello, Laura, got a minute?"

"Of course, Nat. What's wrong?"

Natasha spent the next twenty minutes telling Laura the full story. "I'm really at a loss, right now. Part of me still desperately wants to make Steve Rogers pay for handing me over to Ivan and the Red Room, but part of me is fairly convinced he made an honest mistake."

"Only part of you is convinced it was an honest mistake? Nat, he kept the doll in his bag and carried it across Europe. It's been nearly seventy years and he still gets upset talking about it. Don't you think it's time to let him off the hook and tell him what happened to the little girl? Maybe then you could actually work together and maybe even become friends."

"Friends," Natasha sighed, "Fury's directive has changed. He wants me to secure Captain America's loyalty a different way."

"What? He can't order you to do that! After all you've been through, I'd have thought Fury and Shield would know better. This can't be acceptable behavior in America."

"Russian espionage doesn't hold a monopoly on the good old-fashioned honey pot play," Natasha said sadly. "It's not the first time Fury has utilized my special skillset."

"You have got to be kidding me? Does Clint know?"

"Clint knows. It's a common practice for female agents. He doesn't approve, so don't get angry with your husband. When we worked together, Clint always found another way."

"But, Clint isn't there and you aren't seeing another way."

"I thought I had one, but it didn't pan out. Regardless of whether he deserves to be punished for what happened to me or not, I can't do what Fury is asking. But, if I fail and Fury's hunch is right, Steve Rogers could end up in enemy hands. Those trips to Russia by Dugan's son and son-in-law don't paint a pretty picture. Honestly, Laura, I'd rather not face Steve Rogers in battle."

Laura sighed into the phone. "I don't think you have to worry about Captain America going rogue. For now, you need to decide what you're going to tell him and just try to put Fury off as long as possible. He has no right to ask you to sleep with anyone."

"Technically, I don't have to sleep with him unless the situation requires it," Natasha corrected. "I don't know why I'm getting so worked up about this! It 's just sex. For me, it's really no big deal. Maybe I'm losing my edge."

"Situation requires it? Just sex? This really is unbelievable! Look, just let the other agent do her investigation, and finish your own. You've been struggling with what happened that night for, as hard as it is for me to believe, nearly seventy years. Settle it in your mind once and for all. You need to move past this if you're ever really going to be free of the Red Room. And, Natasha, whatever you do, do not have sex with Captain America. I get that you and I view physical intimacy differently, but this is too personal. You have spent too many years wondering why Captain America didn't stop the Red Room from taking you. The emotional damage it could do to you is not worth whatever benefit Shield thinks it will bring."

"Thanks, Laura. I'll do my best. I'm sorry I didn't trust you with this sooner. It's just, well, no one else on the planet knows."

"And, you want to keep it that way. I understand. Clint won't hear it from me. Just be careful. Strong emotions can overlap sometimes. What Fury is asking you to do is wrong. Don't let yourself get sucked into something that could cause you any more pain."

"Yes, doctor," Natasha teased.

"Hey, I'm a great therapist. Just be glad I don't charge you by the hour like my patients. Get some rest, Nat."

"Goodnight, Laura."

Natasha pulled out her notebook. She wrote "doll missing" on a sticky and placed it in the back then sighed as she wrote "Russia" in the guilty category. "What have you gotten yourself into Rogers?" she whispered as she put the notebook away.

* * *

Four days later, Natasha was warming up some left over beef stroganoff when she got a text from Sharon. "He knows. You're up," Natasha read. She quickly finished her meal and took off for his apartment.

He answered after the second knock. Natasha could tell he was angry before he even opened his mouth. "What do you want, Romanoff?" Steve asked before she even had time to speak.

"I was just in the neighborhood and thought I'd see if you were back yet. Can't a girl check on her partner?" she asked, forcing herself to smile.

"Partner?" Steve asked. "I guess you think I'm pretty stupid if I'm supposed to believe you're not here because of Sharon?"

"Sharon?" she asked.

"Agent Carter-the 'nurse'. Fury apparently sent an agent to spy on me," Steve huffed.

Natasha pushed past Steve and walked into the apartment. "The nurse, huh? My security detail was the building superintendent." She waited briefly to see if he would respond and when he didn't she continued. "You don't honestly think you're the first agent Fury felt might need a hand. Honestly, Rogers, didn't you ask any questions about me when we were put on the same team."

Steve shook his head. "I knew what I needed to know after fighting at your side in New York," he replied.

"Well, let me give you a crash course. I was a Russian operative before I defected. When I called Fury out for spying on me, he said he was concerned my past associates would come after me. He claimed he was just providing back up."

"And, you believed him?"

Natasha shook her head. She knew honesty was her best play here. "No, he had plenty of reasons not to trust me, but, three months later, when I found myself in a firefight in my own apartment, Dave came in handy." She paused briefly before continuing. "Look, Rogers, I had to prove myself. You're Captain America. He probably really was just trying to protect America's treasure. I'd actually be a little disappointed if he hadn't set some extra security in place. Do you have any idea how hard people have worked to recreate Erskine's formula?"

Steve shook his head and took a seat. Natasha sat beside him and looked him in the eye. "You remember Dr. Banner?"

"Of course, we couldn't have succeeded without his help."

"We wouldn't have had the Hulk if Banner hadn't made his life's work recreating the serum. The other guy was the result of his unsuccessful attempts. I witnessed a few failed attempts before I defected. By just waking up, you created a new threat to national security. Eventually, someone will come for you, and you'll be grateful Fury had back up in place. That nurse could very well tip things in your favor."

"She's being reassigned. She's Peggy's, Agent Carter's, niece. I guess that's why she decided to come clean before leaving," Steve said softly.

"Well, Fury will put someone else in her place. Don't worry," Natasha smiled. She knew she had him where she wanted him. She just needed to push a tiny bit further. "I honestly miss Dave. I'm not sure who my new assistant is but I'd be disappointed if I found out Fury didn't care enough to replace him."

"You're okay with having a stranger spying on you?"

"Sure," she lied. "It's good to have back up."

"I don't like it. I don't want Fury putting someone in then leaving me in the dark."

"Well," Natasha replied calmly, "there's another option we could consider."

"Telling Fury I know and demanding he call off his dogs?"

Natasha laughed. "Like he'd listen! No, Steve, it's actually pretty simple. I could take Sharon's apartment. We could be each other's back up detail then we'd both know who to call if something went wrong." She paused. "Never mind, what was I thinking. Now, you know I worked for the Russian government. I'm the last person you'd trust to have your back."

"That's not true. You've got my back every time we go out in the field. I think it's a good idea if you're willing to give up your apartment."

"It's just an apartment. I don't have any attachments to the place. We'll work it out with Maria tomorrow. She'll get Fury on board, Steve. Don't worry."

"That sounds like a good plan," Steve replied, smiling slightly. "Do you realize this is the first time you've ever called me Steve?"

"Well, it is your name. I could go back to Rogers if you want-"

"No, Steve is better. Thanks Natasha."

Natasha nodded. "Not a problem partner. Now, I just happen to have one of the greatest movies ever made in my bag. Up for a movie night? It's time we introduce you to George Lucas."

""That'd be great. I'll pop some popcorn."

"I'll get the movie started while you work," Natasha replied.

As soon as Steve was gone, she took her phone from her pocket and texted Fury to let him know she had been successful then she turned on the movie.

Several hours later, Natasha woke up with a creak in her neck. She looked at the blank screen in front of her and the sleeping soldier to her left. They must have fallen asleep. "Well, Fury did say every waking moment," she thought to herself. She pulled on the shoes she had kicked off and took a long look at Steve Rogers. Asleep, he didn't look much like a super soldier. His face was crinkled up like a child in a fitful sleep. He seemed like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders and no idea what to do about it, and it was oddly comforting and familiar.

She contemplated just leaving him on the couch, but it didn't seem right for some reason. "Steve, it's almost midnight. I'm going home. Get up and go to bed. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?"

Steve slowly opened his eyes. "Sorry. I didn't realize I was so tired."

"Your trip wasn't relaxing?" Natasha asked, hoping for some information that might help Sharon.

"It was more business than pleasure. I guess it wasn't exactly the most restful vacation I've ever had."

Natasha laughed. "Like you've taken a lot of vacations!"

"Not so many, I guess. Things were different in my day."

"So this business of yours, is it the kind of thing you should mention to your partner?"

Steve shook his head. "No, it was personal business. It's awfully late. You could stay if you want. I'll take the couch."

Natasha thought about it briefly then shook her head. She had no desire to spend the night in his apartment unless it was absolutely necessary. "I'm not kicking you out of your bed, Rogers. Old men need their sleep."

"You'll be okay?"

"I'm a big girl, Steve. Even if I weren't the Black Widow, I could manage the three blocks to my building." When Steve frowned slightly, Natasha thought back to her words after the Battle of New York. "But, thanks for the concern, partner. I'll text you when I get home, okay?"


	6. Chapter 6

"Just sit them in the bedroom," Natasha requested as Steve carried the boxes into her apartment. "I'll deal with those later. Thanks for the help."

"Pretty sure I should be thanking you," Steve replied. "You are doing this for me."

"And, I was going to buy you dinner for helping me move. But, since I am doing all this extra work for you, pizza's your treat, Steve. I'll take veggie lovers," Natasha laughed.

Steve decided Natasha's laugh might be his new favorite sound. He was really grateful she'd stepped in and handled the fiasco with Fury. Having someone he trusted around was much better than wondering if every neighbor who struck up a conversation was one of Fury's lackeys. "I'll get right on it. We'll eat at my place, so we don't have to stare at all these boxes."

Thirty minutes later, they were sitting in Steve's apartment eating their meal. "The pictures make the place more homey," Natasha said as she looked at the old black and white photos he'd set around the room.

"Thanks. It's nice to come home to something familiar," Steve said cautiously. He couldn't help but think about how quickly Natasha had left after he told her the story about the little girl. It had actually stung a little at the time, but, oddly enough, she had been a little easier to get along with since that day.

"So, what did you do with the other things?"

"I got rid of some of it. What do I need with a seventy year old razor? A few things went back in the box. I was mainly just happy to have these pictures, I guess."

"And, the doll? Don't tell me it's on your bed, Steve, or we're going to have to have a really long talk. What would the media say if they found out their hero slept with baby dolls?"

"Not on my bed," Steve replied. "I didn't keep it. It seemed wrong somehow. Dolls need little girls to play with them, right? I gave it away."

"You gave it away?" Natasha asked.

"I did. Holding on to it wasn't going to change what happened to that little girl."

"I guess not," Natasha replied. She smiled softly, but Steve noticed that her smile didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Do you think it was the wrong thing to do? I mean, it was seventy years ago. I -" Steve stopped talking and looked at a picture of Bucky. "I guess I just didn't want the constant reminder around. Since the serum, I've managed to win more often than I lost. Besides crashing my plane into the Atlantic, I successfully completed every mission. But, there were a few times when things didn't go my way in between. Losing the girl was one. Not stopping my best friend from falling off a train was the other. I kept this picture of Bucky out, because when I look at it, it reminds me of better days. There's another picture of the two of us, me in my stars and stripes and Bucky in full combat gear. It's in a box. I can't look at for the same reason I couldn't look at the doll any longer. It reminds me that I failed."

Natasha nodded sadly. "Sometimes, it's easier to leave the past in the past."

"Yeah, something like that," Steve replied. "Even if I found Natalia tomorrow, which is highly unlikely, what's a seventy-five year old woman going to do with a rag doll?"

"I guess you're right," Natasha agreed. "There's really no point in holding on to it."

Steve took another bite of his pizza and thought about the little girl that had trusted him so implicitly. He thought about talking more about the child but Natasha would never understand that for him it had only been a few months, so he didn't bother trying to explain it to her. She didn't need to know that his dreams were plagued with images of his falling best friend and a little girl who'd looked at him with such admiration, believing he could make everything okay again.

They were quiet for the rest of the meal. When the last of the pizza was gone, Natasha told him she was going to go unpack a few boxes and go to bed. "I'll see you tomorrow, Steve. Maybe we can grab some coffee and look for some new curtains for both apartments. Those are pretty drab," she said, pointing at his window.

"They're not so bad," Steve replied, "and, I'd really rather not spend my Saturday day looking at curtains."

"We could probably find another way to kill a Saturday."

"You do realize we've done something together outside of work every day for three weeks, don't you?" Steve asked.

"Getting tired of my company?"

"Not at all, but any chance I can get a rain check? I'm actually going to a ballgame tomorrow."

"I didn't realize there was a home game this weekend."

"There isn't. I'm headed to Boston in the morning. I'll be back late Sunday night," Steve replied.

"Let me get this straight, you, Steve Rogers from Brooklyn, plan to go all the way to Boston to watch the Red Sox play? What is this world coming to?"

"Very funny, Romanoff," Steve replied. "If you must know, I have a date with a very pretty red head. She's never been to a game, and it's only right that her first game is her hometown team."

"A date, huh? Going all the way to Boston for a girl? You do know we have those in D.C. right?"

"Sure, but this particular girl is special," Steve replied.

"Well, well, you've been holding out on me, Rogers. Here I was thinking you were a lonely old man. I'll see you, Monday." Natasha turned when she got to the door. "Be careful," she paused before adding, "on your trip."

* * *

Natasha dialed Fury's number as soon as she entered her apartment. He wasn't going to be happy with this update.

"And, you couldn't talk him into staying in D.C?" Fury asked.

"Even if I had tried, I'd have failed. He seemed pretty excited about his date. I would probably have just jeopardized what I've already accomplished if I tried to stop him."

"Alright, Romanoff, you probably made the right call. We'll deal with this matter next week."

"Yes, sir."

"You're in the building. He told you his plans. We're making progress. I'll put a tail on him this weekend and tell Agent 13 to stay away from the family while Steve is in town."

 **Boston**

Nadia rushed into the living room and jumped into Steve's lap. "Uncle Steve, tickle me," the six year old squealed.

"Tickle you?" Steve asked. "You mean like this?" Steve laughed as he tickled the little girl.

"Settle down, Nadia. It's time for you to go to bed, little lady," Elizabeth said from the doorway. "Thank Uncle Steve for taking you to the ballgame then pajamas on and teeth brushed. I'll be up in a minute."

"Than you, Uncle Steve."

"I can tuck her in if you need to rest," Steve said as Elizabeth took the seat beside him.

"It's okay. I've got her. I took a nap while you were at your ballgame. Besides, I want to keep her routine normal for as long for as possible. This isn't going to be easy on her. Annabeth won't remember, but Nadia-" Elizabeth stopped talking. Steve could see the emotion on her face.

"We could try another hospital," he offered.

"And hear the same results. No thank you, Steve. You've wasted enough money getting me second opinions. I'm done."

"I just wish there was more I could do."

"You've done so much already, and you've agreed to help us with Mom's project. I'm grateful."

"But, the girls need their mother."

"That's not our call, is it?" Elizabeth said, irritation at the hopelessness of her situation evident in her voice. "Mom's too old to raise the girls. I need to find someone who will take care of them. If Brandon were still here-"

"My offer still stands," Steve said earnestly.

"Thank you. I wish I could say I wasn't considering it. The world needs you more than two little girls need a family, but, if I can't find the right family, I may have to be selfish and take you up on it." Elizabeth kissed Steve on the cheek. "You're a good man, Steve Rogers. This century needs more men like you."

Once Elizabeth had left the room, Steve picked up the toys cluttering the floor and put them away. He looked at a picture on the wall of Elizabeth, her husband, and Nadia. It must have been taken shortly before his death. Elizabeth was noticeably pregnant with Annabeth. The trio were all smiles. He rarely saw smiles from Elizabeth, and Annette didn't smile much either now that she knew what was coming. During Steve's first visit, he had helped Elizabeth deliver the news. It was cancer, and it had spread too far. Her insides were eaten up before she even knew she was sick. Elizabeth had three months at best then Annette would lose her only child, and, if Elizabeth could find an adoptive family, Annette would lose her grandchildren, too. It wasn't right. Steve had to, at the very least, help Annette with her project.

Steve contemplated talking to Fury, but he wasn't sure Fury would approve of using Shield resources on something like this. He considered asking Natasha for help, but he wasn't sure she would be willing. What would she say about him helping an old war buddy's daughter and granddaughter solve a mystery and possibly start another war? She'd probably try to stop him, and he could not fail Dum Dum's family. With his ma and Bucky gone, they were all the family he had left.

He found himself imagining actually raising Elizabeth's girls. He could stop being a soldier and stay here with Annette. She wouldn't have to live her final years alone. Maybe he could even find a nice girl "his age" as Natasha put it. Of course, the only woman who even compared to Peggy in this day was Natasha, and it didn't matter any way. She was Clint's girl.

 **D.C.**

"You wanted to see me?" Natasha asked as she walked into Fury's office. "You're summoning me so often, the other agents are going to get jealous."

"Aren't you a comedian this morning? Sit, Romanoff. We need to talk before Rogers gets here." Once Natasha was seated, he continued, "I'm sending you and Rogers to Jamaica to pick up a thumb drive."

"Just us? No strike team?" Natasha asked, suddenly worried.

"No strike team. You're going undercover as newlyweds. You'll be staying at the resort for the next 7 days. You leave in the morning."

"With all due respect, sir, Rogers has never done undercover work. He hasn't had the right training . He could blow our covers and the mission."

"Consider this his training then and be grateful you won't be encountering any resistance."

"How can you be so sure?" Natasha asked then answered her own question. "Because, there is no mission. This is a set up."

"You have one week to make Rogers forget the redhead in Boston and focus on the red head in this room. I suggest you work quickly," Fury ordered. "And, Romanoff, you should probably know what we've uncovered. In the 60's, one of Agent Clark's unauthorized trips to Moscow involved a meeting with a woman by the name of Vera Bershova. Her most notable known alias was Madame B."

"Dugan's son-in-law was involved with the Red Room?" Natasha asked, feeling a chill go down her spine.

"We don't know the answer to that question, but the meeting happened." Fury handed Natasha a picture. "Care to explain why Madame B looked the same in 1965 as she did five years ago?"

"How would I know?" Natasha asked. "I wasn't even born."

"That's the story you're going with, Romanoff?" Fury asked before putting the picture away. "If I had another agent qualified for this mission, I'd pull you right now and make you babysit diplomats for the next year. However lying or not, you are the only one qualified to finish this mission, but one of the days, we are going to have a very long talk and you are going to come clean. Do you understand me?"

"I understand that you want answers I can't give you," Natasha replied.

Can't or won't?" Fury paused. "I just need you to understand the gravity of this situation. Rogers is in over his head, and you are the only one who can keep him from getting in so deep we can't pull him out. Complete your mission, Romanoff."

Natasha nodded and left the office. "What have you gotten yourself into, Rogers?" she muttered.


	7. Chapter 7

Steve scratched his head. "Why would Fury send us? I'm not a spy?"

"No, you're not, but I am and you never know what could come up later. This mission is a cakewalk. Fury thought it would be a good opportunity for you to learn."

"But a whole week? What if they need strike?"

"Rumalow can handle strike."

"It just seems like a waste of time. Surely, they could send someone else," Steve argued.

"Of course, they could send in another team but then you wouldn't get the training. Trust me, Steve, you'll be fine," Natasha said calmly. "Think of it as a paid vacation."

"A paid vacation with you as my wife," Steve said softly. "I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this. Does Clint know about this assignment?"

"No, but it's part of the job. He's done his share of these assignments," Natasha replied. "I haven't actually see spoken to Clint since New York. He won't care."

"But, you're his girl."

"No, I'm really not his girl, exactly. I just said he was very important to me and that I needed him. I didn't say I was his girl."

"Does he know how you feel about him?"

"He does," Natasha answered confidently. Clint knew he and Laura were the closest thing to family she had.

"But, you're not together?"

"No, we're not together," Natasha replied. "What we have is deeper than that."

"He's a fool."

Honestly, as hard as it was to admit, she was beginning to like Steve Rogers-not romantically, of course. That would be weird considering their past history. But, realizing she was one of his biggest regrets made punishing him a lot less necessary. Eventually, maybe she would tell him the whole story, but for now, keeping him from falling into enemy hands was the primary objective.

Steve was naïve about so many things. If she could use her current assignment to help him learn to see things like a spy, he wouldn't make the mistake he made with her with anyone else and he wouldn't be such easy prey for the enemy. If the Dugans really were dangerous and were honestly working in collusion with Russia, she would handle that, too. She thought she had tied up all the lose ends when she defected but if there were others, they were her responsibility. "It's my turn to save you, Rogers," she thought to herself.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Steve's voice. "Exactly what do I have to do?" he asked.

Natasha smiled softly. "You're name is David Grant. You're an engineer from Hartford, Connecticut. I'm Natalie, your new bride. Under no circumstances do you call me Natasha. Go with Nat. It's a nickname for both, so it will be easy enough to remember." Steve shook his head, so Natasha continued. "Just act like an attentive bridegroom and leave the rest to me."

"Attentive bridegroom?"

"Hold my hand, caress my shoulder, be affectionate, and kiss me occasionally."

Steve's face reddened. "Are you sure kissing is going to be necessary? I mean, it seems a little personal."

"Personal is what we are going for, Steve," Natasha replied. "Maybe we should practice."

"Here?" Steve asked, looking around the conference room.

"We'll go back to my place. Really, Steve, this isn't a big deal."

By the time they arrived at her apartment, Natasha had changed her mind about how big of a deal kissing Steve might actually be and she couldn't help but chastise herself for thinking she could pull it off without ramifications. Realizing she didn't have a choice, Natasha took a deep breath and put her hands on each side of his cheek. She pulled him down to her level and gently kissed him. Steve didn't respond immediately, but he finally put his hands on her lower back and kiss her back. It wasn't a particularly passionate kiss, but he wasn't without skills. "That wasn't bad, Steve, but it wasn't exactly natural. It felt like a first kiss."

"It was a first kiss," Steve argued.

"Steve, David and Natalie are married. They're newlyweds. Kiss me again and kiss me like you've kissed me a thousand times." Natasha removed her leather jacket and stared at Steve expectantly. "Get a move on, soldier. The plane leaves in thirteen hours and I've got packing to do before bed."

"Natasha-"

"Nat or Natalie, stay in character, David," Natasha said firmly, adding extra emphasis to his alias. "You need to practice."

"I don't need to practice kissing," Steve grumbled.

"Everybody needs practice. Surely, you don't find me that unattractive. Just kiss me like your kissing your Boston girl for the kiss cam at the ballpark."

Steve's eyes grew wide. "I would never-"

"Just do it already. Clock is ticking." Natasha barely got the words out of her mouth before Steve's lips were on her own and his arms were around her waist pulling her closer to him. She barely had time to respond before he pulled away. "Better. Do it again."

They spent the next few hours practicing. Besides kissing, Natasha showed Steve other tricks to make their cover convincing. She showed him where he should place his hand when leading her into a room, taught him the basics of eye contact and how to flirt convincingly, and tried to desensitize him to her own flirtatious touches. Fake mission or not, Fury would be watching. She needed to at least look successful.

By the time he left her apartment, her lips were puffy and tender from the most intense make out session she'd had in years. She plopped down on her couch immediately picked up her phone.

"How are you, Tasha?" Clint asked.

"Just put Laura on, Clint. I need to talk to your better half."

Natasha couldn't help but be a little proud of how easily Steve took to espionage. He even insisted on carrying her across the threshold while the bell hop carried in their luggage. When he put her down, he handed the bell hop a tip then took her into his arms for a deep kiss. Once the door closed behind them, he stepped away so Natasha could sweep the room for bugs.

"All clear," Natasha informed him after completing her sweep. "We don't have to keep up the charade in our room."

Steve nodded, looking relieved, and Natasha smiled. She was also extremely relieved Fury hadn't bugged their room. She honestly wouldn't have put it past him, but this would certainly make things easier. She and Laura had come up with a plan. Laura agreed that, under the circumstances, Natasha probably did need to take Steve's attention off of Elizabeth, but she still firmly insisted Natasha not take this little assignment too far for both of their sakes. Kissing Steve really wasn't much of a hardship if it kept him from falling into a Russian conspiracy, but it really did need to stop there.

"What do we do now?" Steve asked.

"After the display we just gave the bell hop, we can't leave this room for the next few hours."

"They'll think we're-"

"It is the most common use of a honeymoon suite," Natasha replied, trying not to laugh at his horrified expression. "We'll order room service in a few hours then hit the beach for a bit before tonight. You're doing really good, Steve. Just keep doing what you're doing. This is all about creating an illusion. If we act like lovers, everyone will just assume we are and we'll fade into the background."

"You've done this a lot of times," Steve acknowledged. "It must be hard."

"It's not a big deal with a good partner."

"Like Clint?"

"Like you," Natasha replied. "You aren't going to try and take advantage of our cover."

"I would never-"

"I know. I wasn't so sure about you at first. Coulson thought you hung the moon. Clint, Fury, and the others- they were sure you were the answer to their prayers for a safer world."

"But, not you. You didn't think I could make it in this new world, didn't think I could help the cause," Steve accused.

"I didn't believe you were the hero history claimed you were and I wasn't going to risk my people if you weren't as pristine as everyone thought," Natasha replied. It wasn't the complete truth, but she needed him to understand the dangers without giving away everything.

"And, now? Do you trust me now?" Steve asked.

"No, I don't but not for the same reasons. Steve, you really are as good as Coulson believed. You are an honorable man, but that's part of the problem. You want to help. You're so afraid of failing anyone-"

"Why is that a bad thing?" Steve huffed.

"It isn't a bad thing, but it is a dangerous thing. Let's try this again. I was a Russian operative before I defected. Do you have any idea what my agency's main directive was?"

"I guess the same as ours."

"No, Steve. It was you."

"Me? I was dead as far as the world was concerned."

"Russia was convinced the U.S. was still trying to create super soldiers, which, for the record, was good intel. My team was the countermeasure. How do you take out a red-blooded American man?"

"I don't understand."

"With a woman, Steve. I was literally trained to seduce and kill you."

Steve took a step backward. Natasha noticed he had changed his stance to prepare for battle. "Relax, I'm on your side. I'm just trying to make a point. You can't trust just anyone. There were others like me, and, to the best of my knowledge, I'm the only one who defected. I don't fully trust you, because I know without a doubt that you would fall if one of them came after you. You would either end up dead or be manipulated into doing exactly what they wanted."

"How dare you insinuate that I would ever-"

"It's nothing personal. It's just the truth. Whoever they send will offer you whatever it is you desire most and manipulate you into thinking she's the key to giving it to you. Be careful. Prove me wrong then I'll fully trust you, and maybe I'll even manage to earn your trust in return."

"I do trust you!"

"That's the problem. I just told you what I am capable of, what I was trained to do, what I have done many, many times. You should doubt me right now. Can you trust me? Yes, I have no intention of hurting you. I'm loyal to Shield. But should you? Not until I earn it."

"You said 'have done'. You've used your training on others like me."

"There's no on like you. But, I'm called the Black Widow for a very good reason. I've manipulated, seduced, and killed marks just because they told me to do it. And, I never failed."

Steve was sullen for the rest of the afternoon. Natasha hoped she hadn't pushed too far too soon, but she needed him to have as much time to think as possible before this farce of a mission ended and he could make contact with the Dugans. Fury would be furious with her tactics, but if she did this right, Steve would figure things out for himself.

Two hours later, after they'd ordered and eaten their meal, Natasha changed into her bikini. Steve quietly went to do the same then they went to the beach. She handed him the sunscreen and rolled onto her back. Steve dutifully massaged the lotion into her back and placed a kiss on her shoulder blade. Natasha turned and pulled him into a kiss. He returned it before taking the chaise beside her. Natasha smiled. He was still putting in full effort for the mission's sake. She hadn't pushed him too far. Now, she just had to hope she'd pushed him far enough.


	8. Chapter 8

"You did good out there," Natasha said as she and Steve came back into the room. "The kiss on the shoulder was a really nice touch."

"Thanks. I don't want to mess up the mission," Steve replied. Natasha noticed he was back in his somber mood. "What's on the agenda for tomorrow?"

"More of the same," Natasha replied. "We are establishing our cover. Our contact won't even check in to the resort for a few more days. We could actually do something fun tomorrow if you want. Maybe parasailing?"

Steve nodded. "Never tried that."

"Me either," Natasha replied.

"Seriously?"

"I don't get a lot of downtime. Parasailing is for normal people, not spies. I just figured since we are pretending anyway-"

"We may as well mark something off the bucket list," Steve finished.

"Bucket list? I'm impressed. You're starting to learn a little about this century, old man. Where'd you learn what a bucket list was?"

"From a friend."

"Let me guess? Boston?"

"Yeah," Steve replied, with a sad expression on his face, "Bucket lists come up in our conversations quite a bit lately."

"I guess I should have asked earlier, but is kissing me a problem for you Steve? Because of Boston?" Natasha asked cautiously, suddenly realizing that Steve's old fashioned morals were being compromised. She may need to get him away from the this woman, but she didn't want to cause him to feel like he was cheating on his girl.

"I can complete my mission."

"Okay, well, we should go to bed, I guess," Natasha said softly.

"About that," Steve began then pointed to the lone bed, "I'm guessing calling for a cot isn't much of an option."

Natasha looked at the bed then back at Steve. She bit her lower lip. "The chair reclines. You can have the bed."

"No, it's all yours. I'm not taking the only bed and leaving a lady without one."

"I thought we already established I'm not a lady, Steve. I'm a woman and I've slept in much less comfortable positions. It's really fine," Natasha replied.

She grabbed a pillow and was reaching for the blanket when Steve's hand grabbed her arm. "There's always sharing," he said.

Natasha wanted to say no. Things were messy enough, but if she'd been on a mission with literally anyone else she'd insist on just sharing the bed. "Okay, if you're sure," she whispered tentatively.

"Depends, any chance you're going to go Black Widow and kill me in my sleep?" Steve asked, a small smile on his face.

"Your virtue and your life are safe with me, Steve. Let's go to sleep," she smirked. He still trusted her, and, contrary to what she'd told him a few hours ago about making her earn his trust, she was actually grateful. She needed him to trust her if she was going to protect him. And, she knew she needed to succeed. Maybe protecting the man who'd let her fall into enemy hands would wipe away some of the red from her ledger.

That night she dreamed of the fire again, but instead of being the child in the window, she was an adult. Instead of Steve scaling her wall in his stars and stripes, he was in his Shield issued tactical gear. And, instead of watching him run back toward the burning building leaving her in Ivan's arms, she dreamed he just held her tight. When she woke up, she could still feel his arms around her. It took her a moment to get her bearings straight and realize she actually was in his arms. She looked at his face like she'd done the last time she'd woken up beside him. The worry was still etched into his forehead, but his face wasn't as contorted as it had been when they were in his apartment. "You should tell him the truth, Nat," Laura's voice said in her head.

But, this truth wasn't something Natasha could share with a potentially compromised super soldier. She caressed his face gently and sighed. "Someday," she thought to herself, "Someday I'll tell him and then he can let go of some of the guilt." Natasha realized she did want to be friends with the man her poppa had called 'America's greatest captain', and that made her feel lighter than she had in years.

"Good morning," Steve said as he opened his eyes. He immediately released the death grip he had on her. "Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"Snuggle your partner?" Natasha asked. "Really, Steve, you should have kept the doll. Who knew Captain America was such a cuddler?" she teased, trying to lighten the tension between them.

When Steve scooted to get out of the bed, he accidentally grazed his midsection against her thigh. "Sorry about that, too."

Natasha laughed. "It's okay. It's perfectly natural for men to wake up with-"

"Please don't finish that sentence," Steve pleaded. "I'll be back in a few minutes and, maybe, we could just not talk about this anymore."

She giggled as he went to the bathroom. When she heard the shower running a few minutes later, she gave Laura a quick call.

"You better not be calling to tell me you decided to go with Fury's plan over mine," Laura said sternly.

"Your plan is in play," Natasha replied.

"Was he receptive to your warning?"

"Well, he heard me out, but time will tell if he's going to get it. She's got her hooks into him pretty tight," Natasha replied.

"She's probably the first woman who's given him any real attention in nearly seventy years, Nat. Just keep planting doubts and remember your promise."

"Got it," Natasha replied.

"Repeat it to me," Laura insisted.

"I will not have sex with Captain America."

"Good. You'll be okay, Nat. There's always another way."

"Yeah," Natasha replied halfheartedly. "The shower's off. I better go. Hug the kids for me."

"Will do. Come see us soon."

"Just try and stop me," Natasha said before quickly hanging up the phone.

"Who was that?" Steve asked. "I thought I heard you on the phone."

"I was just checking in. Mission report," Natasha clarified.

"Everything still on schedule?"

"Everything is going according to plan. We're good," Natasha assured him.

"Okay, so parasailing?"

"Parasailing," Natasha said with a smile.

Besides parasailing, Natasha and Steve went shopping, tried the local cuisine, went snorkeling, and spent a lot of time on the beach over the next few days. Natasha was impressed by how well Steve maintained his cover, and she found herself occasionally forgetting she wasn't actually on vacation.

There were a few repeats of the first morning where Natasha would wake up in Steve's arms, but it was never as awkward as the first morning. It was actually almost comforting to wake up beside someone every morning. It had been a really long time since she'd had the luxury.

When Natasha pointed out the man Fury had set up as their mark, Steve quickly glanced over her shoulder at the man then whispered into Natasha's ear. "I guess we should probably make it look convincing."

"Now or never," Natasha replied, pulling him down onto the beach towel she was lying on, Natasha drew him into a passionate kiss. Steve eventually repositioned himself so that he was hovering over her, kissing his way down her neck, in order to give her a better view of the target. It was a little disconcerting how good he'd gotten at public displays of affection, and it was very difficult to concentrate with him kissing the sweet spot just above her clavicle. By the time the man was gone, Natasha was more than a little bit lost in the sensations Steve was creating inside of her. "We're clear," she finally managed to whisper.

Steve stopped kissing her neck and looked into her eyes apologetically. "Sorry," he said, "I didn't mean to leave a mark."

"A mark? You gave me a hickey?" she asked.

Steve nodded. "I didn't mean to take advantage of the situation."

"Believe me, that is definitely not what I meant by taking advantage. A little makeup will cover it right up, and it won't be there long anyway. We should head back to our room and get ready for the drop."

"Yeah, um, I'm going to need a minute," Steve replied.

Natasha smirked. "Think about something else. Fury in a tutu?" she offered, trying to help.

Steve laughed then gently placed his hand on the mark on her neck. If it weren't Steve Rogers, she'd be certain the look on his face was pride. But, surely Captain America wasn't proud of covering her neck in hickeys. Even the thought just seemed completely wrong. Of course, he was still Steve from Brooklyn.

When they were finally able to go back to their room, Natasha excused herself to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Instead of being aggravated about the marks on her neck, she found herself a little flustered. "I will not have sex with Captain America," she repeated several times before rejoining Steve in their room. They'd get the flash drive in the morning then they were headed home. Hopefully, her multiple subtle comments about the dangers of Russia and women he couldn't possibly really know had done the trick and this craziness would be over soon. She needed out of this mission as soon as possible.

Natasha started explaining the plan for acquiring the disk drive, but Steve wasn't paying attention. He was still staring at her neck.

"Is it that much of a distraction, Rogers?" she asked, slightly annoyed. "I'm sure you've seen a hickey before."

"Sure," Steve replied, looking down at his hands. "I've just never been the one who put it there."

Natasha's eyes got wide. "You mean your a-"

"I most definitely am not," Steve declared. "I've been with a woman before, many women actually."

"Somebody's getting a little too defensive," Natasha teased, trying to lighten the mood. "It's really not that big of a deal if you've never been with a woman."

"Nat, I've been around okay. Before the serum, girls wouldn't give me the time of day, but things were different when I was on the USO tour. It's just that the girls' outfits really didn't leave much to the imagination. I had to be careful not to leave a mark. That's all."

Natasha nodded in understanding. "You said girls. What did you do? Work your way through the chorus line? Didn't think you had the chops to be a player?"

"It wasn't like that. It was more the other way around. They all wanted to be with me. No, that's not true. They all wanted to be with Captain America. It wasn't about me at all. I wish I'd been stronger, but the attention was nice."

"And, you feel like they took advantage of your insecurities?"

"I guess so. I should just be grateful, I guess. Without the serum, I'd have probably never-"

"I don't believe that for a minute," Natasha smiled, "but it does bring me back to my point about the dangers. Those girls probably didn't have some secret agenda, but you fell for their charade just the same and it hurt you. Imagine the damage someone could do if her purpose was to cause pain. Learn from those girls, Steve. Don't fall into a honey trap."

"Honey trap?"

"It's the name of the play I was telling you about a few days ago. Sex is a powerful weapon. Be careful."

"I guess I see what you're saying. Nat, you don't have to worry. You can trust me. I'll be careful."

Natasha pulled his face up so his eyes were meeting her own. "That's all I'm trying to say, Steve. Be careful. If something doesn't quite add up, look deeper before you leap."

"I will," Steve replied.

Natasha hadn't even realized how close they were until she felt his lips on her own, and she couldn't have pulled away if she tried. It felt like there was a mysterious force holding them together, and she relished the feeling.

It wasn't until Steve was carrying her to the bed that she fully comprehended what they were doing. This wasn't about the cover. It wasn't even about her side mission. This was real. "Steve, wait, stop," she gasped, forcing a small amount of distance between them. "We have to stop."

"We do?" Steve asked.

"We really, really do. I don't want to stop, but we have our mission," she paused. "It's your first time undercover. If we do this, you'll equate me with those chorus girls."

"I would never-"

"Okay, well, I'd regret it. This can't happen now, not when I might look back on it and wonder if it happened for the wrong reasons."

Steve stopped kissing her neck and pulled her into a comforting hug. "Now, that's a good reason," he said softly.

"I'm going to kill Laura," she whispered without thinking.

"Laura?"

"My therapist," Natasha covered. "She's trying to help me work out my issues."

"From the training you told me about," Steve acknowledged. "Good for you. I'm glad you're trying to figure things out."

"You have no idea," Natasha said softly. "Laura is read into Shield, but Fury and the others don't know she's helping me with this."

"I won't say a word. I'm sorry I pushed."

"I'm not. This week has been good for me in ways you'll never know. Whatever happens next, remember that, okay?"

Steve nodded. "Pretty sure this mission was the best vacation I've ever had."

"Me too."

 **What do you think? Is the Black Widow under Captain America's spell? Is Laura in danger of a widow's bite in the rear? Are Dugan's daughter and granddaughter setting a honey trap for the captain? Let me know your thoughts.**


	9. Chapter 9

"From the looks of these credit card receipts, you certainly didn't have any trouble spending Shield money during the last week," Fury frowned. "But, was your mission a success?"

"I guess only time will tell, but I think I made some headway," Natasha replied.

"Mmhmm, for this kind of money, you better have made more than some headway." Natasha pulled her scarf off and glared at Fury. "Rogers did that?"

"Yes, sir," Natasha replied. "Satisfied?"

"I'll be satisfied once I'm sure we've succeeded in keeping Rogers on the straight and narrow, but I'm glad to see you putting in some effort," Fury replied. "Look, I get that you aren't very happy with me right now. I'm not particularly pleased with what I'm asking of you either, but we're spies. We get our hands dirty so normal people can live their lives. You and Rogers made a good team in New York. You're doing well together on strike. If you let yourself, you might find a little happiness with Rogers."

"I thought the goal was to keep him focused on his work," Natasha replied stubbornly, "not to play matchmaker. You can't honestly believe you can order me to seduce him and we'll somehow fall in love and spy happily ever after for you. It doesn't work that way."

Fury shrugged. "Have it your way, Romanoff, but he could be good for you."

Natasha carefully readjusted her scarf and went to her office. How dare Fury try to make it look like his order was doing her a favor? Not for the first time in recent weeks, she considered resigning, but what would she do? Espionage was all she knew. Shield wasn't perfect, but it certainly beat her previous employer.

She picked up the phone to check in with Sharon. "Got anything yet?"

"A few new developments," Sharon replied. "My team listened in on a phone call first thing this morning between Steve and Elizabeth Haynes, Dugan's granddaughter. It was a casual conversation. She asked when he'd be visiting again and he told her he'd be there as soon as he could get away."

"Fury's going to love that," Natasha replied calmly, but inside she wanted to scream. They'd gotten in late the night before and he couldn't have been home eight hours before making plans with another woman-the woman it was her job to keep him away from, no less. "Anything else?"

"My visit with Dugan's daughter Annette went pretty well. She talked a lot about Aunt Peg and her father. Apparently, he did occasional freelance work for Shield. When I tried to ask about his and Aunt Peg's encounter with the girl from the Red Room after the war, she changed the subject pretty quickly. She knows a lot more than she's sharing, but that doesn't necessarily make her guilty."

"Doesn't make her innocent either," Natasha replied. "Keep me posted."

"I will," Sharon replied. "How's your end of the mission going?"

"Must not be going very well if Rogers is still making plans with Elizabeth Haynes," Natasha replied, "but I'd like to think I've made at least a little progress." She subconsciously rubbed her neck lightly as she spoke. "When they speak again, let me know. I'm going to have to keep him too busy to visit Boston until you've completed the rest of your mission."

Natasha wasn't a happy camper for the rest of the day, so she opted to stay locked away in her office. Just two nights before, Steve was kissing her in the hotel room. Of course, she was the one who stopped things, but he'd seemed so understanding at the time. Maybe it was an act. Maybe he just decided to go for the sure thing. She thought back to what he said about the chorus girls. He knew they weren't serious about him but it hadn't stopped him for enjoying what they had to offer. Could he possibly just view her the same way? "Just when I think I've got you figured out Rogers, you throw another curve ball."

She didn't really feel like seeing Steve, so she left the office a few minutes early. Since she'd moved into his building, they'd started walking out the door together at the end of the day which, inevitably, meant arriving at their building at the same time. Natasha had originally been the one to start the routine, so it would be easier to follow Fury's 'every waking minute' order. But, tonight, Fury could just forget about it. She needed to clear her head and figure out how she was going to get rid of the Dugan threat once and for all.

Instead of going straight home, Natasha stopped for drink. She hadn't been at the bar long when Brock Rumalow arrived. He took the stool beside her, not bothering to wait for an invitation that she wouldn't have offered it anyway.

"This is a surprise. You're out without Rogers glued to your side. Get enough of him during your little vacation, Romanoff?"

"You know good and well we were on a mission, Rumalow. Be very careful what you're implying," Natasha warned.

"I'm not implying anything," Rumalow countered, waving his hands in mock surrender. "It just seems a little odd, don't you think?"

"What's odd about me going undercover? I do it all the time," Natasha asked, signaling the bartender for a second drink.

"You certainly do," Rumalow said, "but the captain isn't a real spy."

"Fury wanted him to have the experience."

"Oh, I bet he did," Rumalow laughed, "and, I'm sure he got plenty of experience with you around."

"Watch yourself. I don't like you enough to talk myself out of killing you."

"You weren't exactly fond of Rogers a few months ago. When he came out of the ice, you weren't fangirling like the others."

"Change of heart," Natasha replied, "you've heard the old saying, 'it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind'."

"I have a hunch there's more to it than that. See, the way I see it, either Fury's making you hang with Rogers or you're up to something." Rumalow pulled her journal from his bag and placed it on the bar.

Natasha froze. This was bad. "Do you have any idea how much danger you're in? I can think of at least twenty-seven ways to kill you without leaving my seat."

"Before you do, you should probably know that I have multiple copies of your little notebook in the hands of people I trust. You kill me, Rogers and Fury get those copies in the mail. I'll even throw in a copy of this picture." He handed her a photo of herself. It was black and white and a little grainy, but there was no denying it was a picture of her. She recognized the scenery as Berlin. The man in the picture with her was her mark. He was a scientist specializing in genetic research. Her mission had been to sneak him out of Berlin and back to Russia. It was her last mission before graduation, and he was key to her graduation ceremony and her serum. "Your silence speaks volumes. You've been at this a long time. Ready to hear me out."

"Talk quickly."

"I'm not your enemy. I'm your teammate. Remember that. I just don't want to see anyone get hurt. That's all. You don't want that either, so calm down. I'd love to know how you look so good at seventy-four, Natalia but that's not why I'm here. I'm offering you a job. There are so many things we can do to make the world a better place. Romanoff, Shield isn't willing to do what really needs to be done. It's a miracle we didn't lose the planet to the Chitari, and even Fury realizes there are far greater threats to the planet. With you on our side, we can turn the tide from inside. You have a chance to be part of Earth's real defense. Join us and your secret stays buried."

"Not going to happen," Natasha replied. "You played this wrong, Rumalow. You can't blackmail the Black Widow. Torture would have been the smarter play, but don't feel too bad. That wouldn't have worked either."

When she finished talking, Natasha pulled Rumalow into a headlock, hit his head against the table, and cuffed him to the bar before calling Fury.

"This is the most outrageous story I've ever heard," Fury said, shaking his head. "I had a hunch the Red Room had given you a version of the serum. I even strongly suspected you were considerably older than you claimed, but you're telling me Rogers accidentally handed you over to the Red Room in 1942! You should have told me you were compromised."

Natasha looked down briefly than she looked across the desk at Fury. "I couldn't risk the information getting into the wrong hands."

"Something I might have been able to prevent if I'd been in the loop."

"Really? Because You obviously didn't know about Rumalow? You had a double-agent on your primary strike team, Fury. He wasn't trying to kill me in the bar, he was trying to recruit me. Who knows how many others are in this building right now?"

"We obviously have a significant security breach. It will be addressed, but you are going to be much too busy cleaning up the mess you've made to help. You will tell him who you are tonight and find away to gain back what ever trust it costs you." He slid her journal across the desk.

"I need to interrogate the prisoner," Natasha insisted.

"Hill is doing it now. You need to explain to Rogers why his only friend in this century was performing an unauthorized investigation into an event that happened nearly seventy years ago. What exactly were you planning on doing? Were you going to be his judge, jury, and executioner? That's not how we operate."

"No, you just decide which of your female agents is most suitable to seduce someone into doing exactly what you want done," Natasha replied.

"I was trying to prevent a good man from falling into enemy hands!"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night. I'll finish my mission. I'll clean this mess up with Rogers and handle the Dugans then I'm out."

"You can't quit. You're an Avenger."

"I can be an Avenger without being a Shield agent. If the world needs saving, I'm sure you'll send a lackey to whatever hole I'm hiding in, but I can't do this anymore," she paused. "When I joined Shield, I thought I was going straight. You're a good man, Fury, but you're so busy trying to control the chaos in the world that you can't see the chaos in front of your face."

Sharon called just before Natasha got back to the building. "Where are you?" Sharon asked as soon as Natasha picked up the phone.

"Almost home. Did you find something?" Natasha asked.

"I know about Rumalow."

"Fury told you?" Natasha asked.

"More like Hill told me. She was afraid someone on my team might be compromised and wanted me to double check some things personally."

"How do I know you aren't compromised?" Natasha asked.

"You don't, but you still need to hear what I have to say," Sharon countered. "I went back over Rogers' phone records and some things seriously didn't add up, so I did a backdoor hack. A lot of things were left out of the report. Rogers is in danger."

Natasha cursed in Russian before addressing Sharon again. "I'm on my way to talk to Rogers. It's time to let him in the loop. There are things he has to know."

"That's why I'm calling. You aren't going to find him at home. Steve Rogers is gone," Sharon replied.

"Boston?"

"No, Rogers left for Moscow two hours ago. If I'd only looked at the surveillance myself-"

"What? The Dugans have already got him! I need everything you've got sent to me immediately. It looks like I'm making a trip to Russia then I'll handle that mother and daughter personally," Natasha replied.

"One more thing before we hang up, Annette and Elizabeth are just pons. They're innocent. They were trying to complete Dugan's lifelong mission. Remember the girl I told you about? The one Dugan fought when they were investigating the Red Room after the war? He kept searching for her. Eventually, Annette's husband and son-in-law picked up the investigation. Dugan and Aunt Peg were convinced the child was a girl Rogers rescued from a fire during the war."

Natasha stopped in her tracks. This was all about her. "Why did they keep searching?"

"The parents were brutally murdered. Rogers managed to rescue a little girl then he went back for her family. When he came back, the girl was gone-kidnapped by the man he had trusted to watch her. Aunt Peg left an operative behind to try and find her, but she was lost.

"After Dugan returned home from his post war mission with Aunt Peg, he couldn't shake the image of the girl he'd fought from his mind. It wasn't until weeks later when he saw the same expression on his own daughter's face that he became suspicious. Annette was adopted. She was born Anastasia Tatiana Romanova. Rogers has been trying to get her some closure on what happened to her sister during the war. We got this one all wrong."

 **And, there you have it folks. Mystery number one is solved, but what happens next? Thanks for reading.**


	10. Chapter 10

"You should have told us the truth, Romanoff," Sharon chided. "Or, should I say Natalia?"

"I made a mistake, but I'm going to fix this. I promise," Natasha said firmly.

Natasha kept Sharon on the phone while she pulled up the information Sharon had gathered. Her heart was pounding. After all these years of wondering, she finally knew what happened to her baby sister. Ana, Annette, was alive, and she'd never given up on her.

Natasha desperately wanted to go to Annette, but she had to get to Steve first. If her hunch was correct, this whole mess was the result of their investigation. Rumalow and his men probably planted clues for them to find in order to lure Steve to Russia.

All of her warning about a honey trap had been pointless. He wasn't doing this for some girl. He was doing this to write a wrong, and she could have prevented all of it if she'd just told him the truth. She clicked on one of the files Sharon had sent. "I know where he's going," she said sadly. "I need your help."

"Anything you need," Sharon replied, "I'll do it. I owe it to Aunt Peg."

"Stay with Annette and her family. I'll send you some back up. No one from Shield is to get near that house until I get back."

"Who are you sending?"

"A couple of Avengers," Natasha replied. "Banner and Stark will want to help."

"So, you're going to Russia alone?" Sharon asked. "Are you sure you don't need back up?"

"I'm positive I'll need back up, but I'm picking it up on the way. Just tell Annette she'll have her answers as soon as I get back. I need to be the one who tells her the truth, Sharon. Don't let anything happen to my sister or her daughter and granddaughters, okay? I'm choosing to trust you, Sharon, and I don't do that easily."

"I'll take care of them, Natasha. Go get our super soldier."

A couple of quick phone calls to Fury, Tony, and Bruce and a few hours later, Natasha was parking the quinjet in the barn at Clint's farm. It was late, but they were expecting her.

Clint started packing his gear into the jet before she had even had time to get inside the house. Laura was waiting at the front door.

"Are you okay?" she asked, hugging Natasha tightly. "I explained everything to Clint. He's not happy, but he has your back."

"I should have told Steve the truth," Natasha whispered.

"You did what you thought was best. He didn't tell you what he was doing either. This isn't all on you."

"If we don't get to him in time-"

"You will," Laura said firmly.

"And, what if we don't? He'll never know," Natasha finished lamely.

"He'll never know the little girl he saved turned out okay or he'll never know you're in love with him?" Laura asked.

"I'm not in-" Natasha began then stopped. "It isn't like that between us. I didn't seduce-"

"I believe you didn't seduce him on Fury's order," Laura replied, "but that doesn't mean you aren't in love with him. If anything, it only proves my point. I warned you that strong emotions like hate and love are easy to get confused. You may have hated that man a few months ago, but the woman standing in front of me right now is desperate to save the man she loves."

"Of course, I'm desperate to save him. This is all my fault. I don't hate him anymore. I understand that he did everything he could all those years ago, but love him?" Natasha paused and closed her eyes briefly. "How did this happen? I didn't mean to fall for Steve."

Laura laughed. "Go get him, Nat. I'll see you soon."

 **Russia**

Steve left Sam standing guard and walked through the old, run down building with a frown. It had obviously been abandoned for years, and he was grateful. He just hoped he could find something that would give him a clue as to what happened to Natalia. He wasn't foolish enough to think he'd find the older woman in a building from the forties, but if he could find pictures or a file, anything that might give Annette closure, he had to do it.

His thoughts raced back to that night. When he had reached the parents' bedroom and seen the bullet holes in their heads, he heard a cry from the crib. Against all odds, the baby girl was alive. He picked up the small bundle carefully. "I've got you. You're going to be okay," he soothed the baby.

Climbing down the side of the house with a baby was much more difficult than climbing down with her sister. Steve looked towards the crowd for help. Dum Dum was running full speed in his direction. The others were behind him. He'd taken off ahead of his team when he realized the building on fire was someone's home, but they had dutifully followed him like the always did.

Dum Dum climbed high enough to take the baby from his arms then lept to the ground below, allowing Steve to do the same. Steve searched the crowd for Natalia, but she was nowhere to be found. "Did you see a little girl?" Steve asked Peggy.

Peggy shook her head and immediately joined him in his search. They searched and searched but the little red headed girl was no where to be found. Steve found the rag doll Natalia had been clutching on the ground not far from where he had left her and he gently put it into his pack.

One of the townspeople finally came up to Steve. "The last time I saw Natalia. Ivan was carrying her. He said he was going to take her to the neighbor's and find her some warm clothes."

None of the neighbors had seen them and by morning, Steve learned another truth. Ivan was a gambler and he was in some pretty deep debt. No one believed he was capable of murder, but no one would have expected him to kidnap a child either. As for the Romanova parents, he learned the father wasn't very happy with the way things were going in his country. He had been vocal enough that a few neighbors were able to tell Steve he had been working on a plan to defect to the United States with his family.

Dum Dum and Howard took turns caring for the six month old baby girl while they searched. When it was time to leave, they left the baby in the care of a woman who claimed to be a family friend.

"Dugan wants to take the baby and her sister, if we can find her, back to the States," Howard confided to Steve. "His wife has had three miscarriages. Doctors say she shouldn't try again."

"Will the government let him do it?" Steve asked.

"I've got connections. We'll make it happen," Howard assured Steve. "Peggy said she could leave John to continue the search, but you know the importance of our mission. It's time we go."

And, that's what Steve had done. He left and, apparently, Natalia Romanova grew up in this horrible prison. Steve walked into a large room with bunk beds bolted to the cement floors. The windows, most of which were broken from years of abandonment, were covered with bars. He felt sick.

He sat on a bunk and just looked around the room. That's when he saw them. There were handcuffs still attached to many of the bed frames. He touched the handcuff on the bed he had sat on and followed it to where it's other end attached to the frame. On the wall behind the bed was a name, scrawled in little girl hand writing, Natalia. He touched each letter reverently and let his tears flow.

He heard a familiar voice behind him. "Steve, we need to go now. It's not safe for you to stay here."

Steve didn't even bother wiping the tear from his eye before turning to find Natasha standing beside the bed. "She was here."

"I know," Natasha replied sadly.

"You know?" Steve asked. "Why are you here? You were spying on me this whole time!" he accused.

"I was," Natasha admitted, "and I'm very sorry. I'll explain everything but this is a trap. We need to go now."

"I'm not leaving until I get some answers," Steve replied. "You said you knew Natalia was here. How?"

"This is where I spent part of my childhood. I was in a few other places. They weren't any better than this one, but they weren't any worse," Natasha said, taking a seat beside Steve.

"So the Red Room continued?"

"Until five years ago," Natasha replied. "I don't know exactly when it started, but I was there the day it ended. I ended it myself."

"The organization you worked for was the Red Room-the one whose primary mission was to take me out," Steve said, finally understanding. "This is how you were raised." Natasha nodded. "Why didn't you to tell me?"

"Because I thought Annette and her daughter Elizabeth were somehow involved. I thought you were in danger of being compromised, and I couldn't risk anyone knowing my full story," Natasha replied. "I was wrong."

"How did you end up in a place like this?"

"We all ended up here more or less the same way. I lost my parents and I was brought here. I was six. This wasn't exactly a government sanctioned facility. Most people thought Madame B was a saint for taking in orphan girls and teaching them ballet."

Steve sighed. "Natasha, this was an awful place to grow up. I'm sorry it happened to you."

"I really don't think I realized just how much I needed to hear those words from you until this moment, Steve. Thank you."

Steve was a little puzzled by her response, but he had more questions. "When you were here, did they -," he stopped briefly, "Do you know what happened to Natalia? Did she, oh no, please tell me she didn't grow up to become Madame B. Tell me she didn't do this to you!" Steve spat out the words as he yanked the handcuffs so hard they came unattached and the bunk beside them came unbolted from the floor.

"She didn't. She was top of her class. She completed every mission. She was cold and calculating, so I guess it's pretty likely she would have at some point taken over the program. Shield sent an assassin after her before she got to that point."

"He killed her," Steve replied.

Clint entered the room at that point, but stayed by the door to keep watch. "Actually, he offered her a choice," Clint clarified. "She could leave with him willingly or she could leave in a body bag."

Steve noticed a slight smile appear on Natasha's face. "It's debatable whether the assassin could have succeeded, but Natalia already wanted out so she took him up on his offer."

Steve looked into Natasha's eyes. "You told me you were the only one whoever defected."

"I was," she replied softly. "I'm so sorry, Steve. You had the right to know."

"Natalia," Steve whispered.

"Yes, but we need to go. Please, Steve."

Sam ran into the room. "We've got company," he shouted. "Widow?" he asked.

"She followed us. Everybody get ready," Steve shouted, pulling his shield off his back.

"You brought your jogging buddy but you didn't tell me what you were up to?" Natasha accused as she pulled her gun.

"You told me not to trust anyone, to look before I leaped. I figured you'd tell Shield or try to stop me." Steve shouted, the anger beginning to rise inside of him. "You should have told me the truth. You've got a lot to answer for when this is over."

Natasha didn't have to to respond before the bullets started flying. Steve instinctively pulled her to him so he could protect both of them with his shield. He wasn't going to risk letting her die today-he couldn't lose Natalia on his watch again. He watched in awe as she took out gunman after gunman from his arms. He couldn't decide whether he was more angry or proud as she worked.

By the time the bullets stopped flying in the room, Clint was down and Natasha was running toward him. "Can you walk?" she asked.

"Flesh wound, but I could use a little help," Clint replied. "There'll be more. We better move."

Steve nodded toward Falcon to help Natasha lift Clint to his feet and they headed out into the hallway. They didn't make it far before chaos broke out again and Steve found himself face to face with his other biggest regret. "Bucky?" he whispered as the man with a metal arm and his best friend's face raced towards him and attacked him head on.


	11. Chapter 11

**Just a quick side note before we get into the action. I put AU in the description of this story for a very good reason. I do have a few stories that correspond much more closely to the MCU if you'd rather check those out. Speaking of the MCU, I still don't own Marvel. I really wish I did. They have a terrific toy box. I'm just borrowing a few of my favorite toys.**

The shock of seeing Bucky temporarily slowed down Steve's reaction time, and soon he found himself in a desperate struggle trying to stop Bucky from killing him without actually hurting his best friend. It wasn't going well. "Bucky, stop. It's me. It's Steve. I don't want to fight you."

"Good then this will be easy," Bucky growled before hitting Steve again then falling to the ground.

Steve looked behind him and saw Natasha with her arm still up. "You shot him! I was trying to get through to my friend."

"He was going to kill you! Besides, it was just a bite. He'll be fine. You can talk to him on the jet," she replied, leaving Clint leaning on Bucky. "We need to move. He's enhanced. I don't know how long he'll be down." She grabbed one side of Bucky and stared at Steve. "Are you going to help me or not?"

They'd barely gotten Bucky up when his disorientation started to fade and he grabbed Natasha by the neck. He was choking her. "Bucky, stop! You're killing her."

Bucky looked Steve in the eyes. "Who's Bucky?" he asked then went back to choking Natasha. "You should have stayed out of my way."

Steve grabbed Bucky's wrists and pulled him away from Natasha. The fight started again then an alarm started to sound. The noise was piercing Steve's ear drums. He covered his ears for a moment and Bucky took off. Steve raced after him, but he lost him quickly.

"You won't find him," Natasha said quietly from a few steps behind him, "at least not today. That was the Winter Soldier. Unless I miss my guess, his handlers sounded the alarm to tell him to retreat."

"He was my best friend," Steve said, slowly turning to face Natasha. "He was supposed to be dead." She didn't look surprised. "But, you already knew that, didn't you?"

"It came up in my personal investigation on you. I wanted to tell you."

"Stop lying. Do you even know what the truth is, Romanoff? How long have you known about Bucky?"

"Since our first movie night. I recognized him, but I never knew him as Bucky. We met once, well, met isn't the right word. I was on babysitting duty for Shield. His target was the man I was supposed to protect. He shot right through me to get to his target. I woke up in the hospital his target was dead. You probably saw the scar when we were in Jamaica. Before that day, I thought the Winter Soldier was a myth. He'd been carrying out assassinations since I was still a child. I don't know what they've done to him, but he's not the man you knew."

"I have to go after him," Steve said, the anger boiling to the surface.

"I know, but you won't find him today. Come with us. Clint needs medical attention and Shield has been compromised. I've got Carter, Banner, and Stark in Boston but I have to get back to them. Please just help me protect my sister then I'll give you everything I've found on Barnes. I owe you that much."

"You owe me the truth. Why do you look so young? Why did you lie to me?"

"I told you people on both sides worked to recreate the super soldier serum. At least I don't turn green. That's something I guess." Natasha attempted to take his hand, but Steve jerked it away. "Please come with me."

Steve finally nodded and followed her to the jet where Clint and Sam were already waiting. Natasha got them in the air and put the jet on autopilot then started tending to Clint's wounds. Steve watched the scene in silence.

"I've had worse," Clint said as she cut away his shirt.

"It needs stitched. We need to get you to a hospital," Natasha replied.

"It's not that bad. You've stitched me up before. Just get me home."

"As soon as I can drop off Steve and Sam, I'll-"

"No, Tasha, I mean set the coordinates and take me home."

"What about the others?"

"I think today has been a glowing example of the dangers of secrets between friends. I trust Cap and Cap trusts Falcon. It'll be okay."

"Laura might not agree," Natasha replied.

Steve finally spoke. "Laura, the therapist?"

"Laura is my wife. We're stopping at my place. You'll meet her in a few hours. I have two children, too. Cooper is a big Captain America fan. Lila's favorite superhero is her Aunt Nat. They are my secret, and I'm telling you about them because I realize Nat, Fury, and I might not always be able to protect them alone. We're Avengers. We need to learn to trust each other if we are going to protect anyone."

"Trust," Steve repeated before going back to the cockpit. Sam was sitting in the other seat. "I'm sorry I drug you into all this, Sam."

"Don't be. It was an honor, Cap. I'd happily follow you into battle again if the situation presented itself," Sam replied.

A few minutes later, Natasha arrived in the cockpit. She quietly typed in the coordinates and gave Sam a slight nod. He excused himself and she took his seat. "Ask me anything and I'll answer honestly."

"You hated me when I woke up. Why?"

"Because I blamed you for what happened that night for nearly seventy years. I would have killed you before you woke up if I hadn't gone straight."

"I thought we were friends after I came to D.C. Was it all an act?" Steve asked.

"At first, yes. I needed to determine for myself whether or not you were responsible for what happened to me, which I now realize you were not, and Fury wanted me to keep an eye on you. He noticed some discrepancies in your bank account."

"He was watching my bank account?" Steve's eyes bulged.

"Fury watches everything except what actually matters. He noticed the cash withdrawals and found out about your relationship with Dugan's granddaughter. I was ordered to break it up," Natasha replied. "The mission to Jamaica was a scam. He wanted me to seduce you."

"He what?" Steve hit the table beside him, denting it slightly. "Elizabeth is my friend. We are not romantically involved. And, who does Fury think he is?" Steve paused. "All of your words about honey traps and you were setting one for me all along."

"If I'd been trying to seduce you, I would have succeeded. I didn't sleep with you in Jamaica, remember? You weren't the one who stopped that from happening," Natasha replied, "that was me."

"What happened? Did you decide you were to repulsed by the man who failed you as a little girl to follow orders?" Steve asked, the venom evident in his words.

"No, Steve, by that point, I knew you were a good man. I didn't seduce you because you deserved better. Laura came up with another plan."

"Clint's wife and, I'm guessing, the reason you and Clint aren't together, knew the truth," Steve said more to himself than Natasha.

"I told her everything when the order came down from Fury. Laura isn't just Clint's wife, she's family. But, even if there were no Laura, Clint and I would not be together. He's my best friend and I love him like a brother. He saved my life, but I am not nor could I ever be in love with Clint Barton."

"And, Laura's plan involved not following Fury's order to-" Steve stopped.

"Seduce you," Natasha finished. "She made me promise not to have sex with you. She told me to find another way. I used Jamaica to try and teach you how spies work, so you wouldn't fall into a trap. I just didn't know Elizabeth wasn't the enemy. I didn't know Shield and Fury's investigation had been compromised. My sister is alive, and my actions put all of you in danger."

"Yet, you came for me and left the others protect her. Why?"

"Because it was my turn to save you. You saved me from that fire. Nothing that happened afterwards was your fault, Steve. You couldn't have known what Ivan was going to do. I couldn't let them hurt you," she finished softly. "I only hope maybe you will be able to forgive me someday."

"The thing is, I think I understand why you kept your identity a secret. I even see how you thought you were helping to protect me from Elizabeth and Annette, but you knew my biggest regrets were what happened to you and Bucky. And, you could have told me about Bucky without endangering your own secrets. I could have already rescued him. Today didn't have to happen. Your lies may have cost me the only family I have, and I'm not sure I will ever be able to trust you again."

 **The Farm**

A few minutes before they landed at Clint's, Natasha got a call from Tony. "When the rogue Shield agents showed up, Banner and I handled them while Carter kept watch. Your family is pretty shook up, but they're fine."

"Thank you, Tony. I can't tell you how much I appreciate this," Natasha replied.

"We're Avengers. This was nothing. How'd he take your bombshell? A bombshell that I'm still trying to wrap my head around for the record."

"Let's just hope the world stays safe for awhile. I have a feeling Steve isn't going to want me watching his six on the battlefield," Natasha replied.

"Got it. I'm sure he'll come around," Tony reassured her. "Fury asked if he could expect either of his top agents to report in at any point in the near future."

"I already told him I was out after this."

"Apparently, you're going to have to be more clear, but I think I have a way for you to get the message across. Take some time with your sister then come work for me."

"At Stark Enterprises?" Natasha asked.

"Not exactly. I was thinking maybe Shield shouldn't be the ones calling the shots with the Avengers. My dad has this old warehouse upstate. It would need some remodeling, but I think it could make a good headquarters. What do you think? It's just a three and a half hour drive from Boston. You could spend time with your sister and still save the world when the need arises."

"What about Steve? Sorry, Tony, I don't think that's such a good idea," Natasha replied.

"So, I'm going to just take that as a maybe and we can talk about it later. Be careful coming in and don't worry. The threat has been eliminated, your family is fine, and your sister makes the best coconut cake I've ever tasted," Tony replied before the said their goodbyes.

When she hung up the phone, it was time to land, so she quickly updated the others. It actually hurt when Steve didn't look at her while she spoke. He had every right to be angry. She deserved this.

Laura met them at the door and immediately looked over Clint's injury. "Nat, your stitching is getting better. You did a much better than with the Budapest stitches," she said before acknowledging her guests. "We don't get many guests. Mr. Wilson, I hope you'll be comfortable in the guest room. Captain, I'm sure Natasha won't mind you sharing her room."

Natasha saw the look on Steve's face and spoke before he had the chance. "Rogers is welcome to take my room. I'm just going to cuddle up beside Lila. We'll be leaving first thing in the morning anyway, so I won't have much time with the kids."

Laura gave her a look that said they'd be having a long talk then showed the men to their rooms. Natasha was still replacing Clint's bandage with she returned. "I take it you didn't tell him everything," she said softly.

"No, he doesn't feel the same. I know he was attracted to me, but this was just too much. Steve's going with me to Boston then he and Sam are going to search for his friend. I'm not sure I'll see him again."

"What am I missing? I thought you told him everything," Clint said, scratching his head.

"She's in love with the captain," Laura replied.

"Oh, Tasha, I'm sorry."

"I'll be fine, Clint. It's not a big deal. Love isn't for people like me. Once he's gone, it will fade quickly. Don't look at me like that. I'm fine. I'm good actually. Steve's safe. My sister is alive. I don't have to follow orders I don't agree with ever again. It's like a fresh start. Really, this is for the best," Natasha sighed. "I should get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a big day."

"Will you come back soon?" Lila asked as Natasha poured her a glass of orange juice the following morning.

"Of course, and next time we'll have more time together," Natasha promised, kissing the little girl's forehead. She didn't notice Steve in the doorway until she was putting the orange juice in the refrigerator. "Hungry? There's waffles and bacon. Lila and I just finished cooking."

"I'm a little hungry," Steve replied.

"I'm Lila," the little girl grinned as she put out her syrup covered hand for Steve to shake.

"Hold on, girly. Let's wipe that hand off first," Natasha smiled at the child as she wiped her hand on a wet dish cloth. "That's much better."

Lila shook Steve's hand and monopolized the conversation while they ate breakfast. Natasha had never been more grateful for Lila's talkative nature. "Can I be excused?" the child finally asked.

"You are excused, but don't wake your parents. Your Daddy needs to rest."

"Okay, Aunt Nat. I'll go draw."

Natasha watched as the little girl left the room. She didn't bother trying to make conversation with Steve, so the room got very quiet.

It was Steve who broke the silence. "You're good with her."

"She's a great kid," Natasha replied. "Wait until you meet Cooper. He's pretty terrific, too."

"Nadia is a pretty neat kid, too. She's Elizabeth's oldest. She was my date for that ballgame a few weeks ago."

"Awe, I see. I'm glad I'll get to meet her," Natasha replied, chiding herself for the jealousy she could finally admit she felt when she thought Steve was dating Elizabeth.

"Annabeth is just eight months old, but she's a beautiful baby. It hasn't been easy on Elizabeth. Her husband died just before the baby was born. I did use the money to help her, just not the way Fury must of suspected. Elizabeth has cancer. It's terminal. I got her a second opinion. There's nothing they can do."

Natasha frowned. "Stark?"

"The second opinion came from doctors he recommended. I just thought you should know before we get to Boston. Annette is going to need you."

"Then I guess it's a good thing I'm currently unemployed. I'll help them."

"Unemployed? Did Fury fire you for-"

"I quit," Natasha interrupted. "I'm finished. No more spying. What he asked me to do to you was wrong. Part of me knew we wouldn't be able to work together once you found out, but I still did it. I'm not going back to Shield."

"That makes two of us," Steve replied.

"Not even after you find Barnes?"

"Not ever. I think maybe we were both in the wrong business. I hope you find what you're looking for, Natasha."

"I hope you find what you're looking for, too, Steve," Natasha replied.

"I'm going to wake up Sam. I have a promise to keep. It's time to give Annette her closure then Sam and I are headed out," Steve replied.

"I'll send everything I have on Barnes to you as soon as I get home then I'll leave you alone. Fury has too much on his plate to send anyone after you. You should be fine from here on out."

"Thank you. I'll probably check on Annette by phone occasionally to see how things are going with the family."

"You could visit them. I know they mean a lot to you. I won't stand in the way."

"I'll try. Right now, I need to focus on Bucky. If I visit, I promise to give you a little warning. This doesn't have to be awkward. It's not that I don't care about you. I actually probably care too much. It's just that I-"

"It's that you don't trust me. It's really okay, Steve. You finally learned the first lesson in spying. I'm impressed and even relieved. You won't fall into a honey trap. You're going be fine. As crazy at it is, I finally trust you."

Steve nodded and left the table. Natasha cleared her place and went to the barn. She needed to be alone.

 **Not a cliffhanger, but this chapter does end on a sad note. I just felt like Steve would have some major issues of his own to work out after learning about Natasha's little side mission.**


	12. Chapter 12

Natasha followed Steve into Annette's home. She was extremely nervous. Seeing her sister alive and all grown up was something she never expected. She would probably be ecstatic if her heart weren't broken. A little girl that Natasha assumed had to be her great niece ran to Steve and he picked the child up and gave her a squeeze before addressing Annette. "Are you okay?" he asked, concern evident in his voice.

"We were well-protected," Annette replied, hugging Steve. "Thank you for sending your friends. I'm so sorry we got you into this mess."

"I got myself into this mess," Steve replied, "and I'd do it again. This is my friend Sam, and this is Natasha. She's the one who sent the others to protect you."

Suddenly, Annette was looking at her and Natasha put out her hand. "It's so good to see you Ana," she whispered, forgetting to use her new name.

Annette pulled her into a hug. "You look so much like the pictures of my mother. You have to belong to my Natalia. Please tell me I'm not wrong."

Natasha hugged her sister back tightly. "I am Natalia. I'm here," she replied, patting Annette on the back. "I never dreamed you made it out of the fire."

Annette pulled back and Natasha could feel her staring at her again. "She's telling you the truth, Annette," Steve replied. "The Red Room gave her a serum a lot like mine. She doesn't age at a normal rate."

"Natalia," Annette wept, "you're alive. I can't believe it, but if I'm asleep, don't wake me."

Natasha was soon hugged by Elizabeth. She could see that the cancer was already making her frail, and it killed her to think of what she would have missed if this charade had kept her away any longer. "Elizabeth," she whispered, "I'm so sorry your children were in danger. I didn't know the agents were compromised."

"You got us out of danger and you're here. We've been looking for you for so long."

Finally, Tony spoke. "I'm pretty sure Red can handle security from here on out. Maybe we should give these ladies some time alone."

"Sam and I have another mission," Natasha heard Steve tell Annette. "I'm not sure when I'll be back. I'm glad you have your sister. She said she would stay and help you. You don't have to go through this alone."

Annette nodded and hugged Steve. "Thank you. Don't be a stranger."

"I'll do my best," Steve replied before placing kisses on Nadia and Annabeth's heads and hugging Elizabeth. "It's going to be okay," he reassured the woman.

He gave Natasha a nod and left, and Natasha tried to pretend it didn't break her heart that he hadn't hugged her, too.

Sam must have seen the look on Natasha's face, because he gave her a hug and whispered in her ear. "I got him. Don't worry. He just needs to clear his head. I've got your number. I'll check in, okay?"

"Thank you, Sam. If you get in over your head-"

"You'll be the first one I call, and you'll come save us. I know. It's pretty obvious how you feel about him. He feels the same way. That's why he's so upset with you. Give him time."

 **Berlin, Three Months Later**

Steve and Sam walked into their hotel room and tossed their packs on the floor. "I see we're staying at another 5 star establishment, Cap. Do you even know how to use Trivago? There's this little thing called reviews-"

"Can it Sam. We've got two beds and a bathroom. That's all we need and the location is perfect," Steve replied before flopping onto his bed. His phone buzzed as soon as he sat down, so he looked at the waiting text message. "It's from Annette. Elizabeth has passed," he said softly.

"So, we should probably head back to Boston," Sam replied. "Want me to book the flight?"

"No," Steve replied firmly. "By the time we could get back here, our lead would be cold. Bucky keeps slipping us. We need to stay here."

"You sure that's the best call. These people are like family to you," Sam chided. "Don't you think you should be there?"

"They are like family to me, Sam, but they have Romanoff and she is their family."

"So that's how it's going to be now, huh? Romanoff? She has a name, Steve. You used to speak that name constantly when we were running together in D.C."

"She was playing me, Sam! I got Annette her sister back. That's what I promised I'd do, but I can't see Natasha right now. It's too hard."

"Okay, Cap, whatever you say," Sam replied. "But, it's pretty obvious to me that Natasha fell for you, and she's not the kind of woman most men would leave hanging. I guess I misread your feelings in D.C. Got to say I'm a little relieved. She and I talk pretty regularly."

"What do you tell her? You can't jeopardize our mission."

"We don't talk about Barnes. We just talk. She's really stepped up and helped her family through this sickness. Did you know Elizabeth asked Nat to adopt the girls?"

Steve shook his head, but he wasn't surprised. He'd seen Nat will Clint's kids. He knew she wouldn't let Annette lose her grandchildren any more than he would have if things had gone differently. "That's good. The girls need to be protected and grow up together."

"So, you trust Nat enough to let her raise the girls you were so crazy about. I guess that's progress. You're sure you don't want to see where things could go now that the secrets are out in the open?"

"I am not interested in Natasha Romanoff!" Steve declared. He almost believed the words as they came out of his mouth. "Maybe I should say it aloud more often," Steve thought.

"Good, then you don't mind me talking to her on the phone? Maybe even asking her to dinner when we get back?" Sam asked.

"No!" Steve replied, a little too quickly.

"No you don't mind or-"

"I do mind. I mind a lot, okay? I just can't be with her without wishing things were different. I really thought we were headed somewhere, Sam, but it was just part of her lies. Do I trust her with Annette and the kids? Yes, no one will protect them the way she will. But, I can't trust her with my heart. And, I'm sorry, Sam, but I can't watch her move on with someone else. If you want to be with Natasha, just go."

"Easy, Cap, I'm not after your woman. I'm just trying to make a point. If you don't get past this soon, she will meet someone else. She won't wait around forever. Are you going to let someone else take your place? Raise those girls with her? Hold her in his arms every single night? Or, am I booking us a flight back to Boston?"

 **Boston**

Natasha wrestled the wiggly baby into her dress and carefully put the matching bow in her hair. "There you go, princess. Your momma would be so proud of her sweet baby," she whispered, placing a kiss on the child's forehead then handing her to Sharon. "Thanks for doing this, Sharon. It would be hard to hold the baby and comfort Annette and Nadia today."

"I really don't mind, Nat. That's what friends are for, right? If she gets fussy, I'll take her out of the service," Sharon replied. "I like your version of babysitting duty a lot better than Fury's."

"I haven't spoken to him since right after the Senate hearing," Natasha replied. "He wanted me to come back and help reform Shield. I said no and he grumbled something about how I was supposed to keep Rogers in the organization not cost him two agents."

"Two of his best agents," Sharon corrected. "Hill and I hear him complain about that almost daily. You could still come back, you know."

"I promised Elizabeth I would raise the girls," Natasha replied.

"Lots of Shield agents have children. You may have noticed the almost monthly baby showers in the break room."

"I don't think I can go back to Shield. Fury would make promises, but the first time he decided he needed my special skillset, they'd all go out the window."

"You're probably not wrong," Sharon agreed. "Have you thought about Tony's offer?"

"You know about that?"

"He may have approached me with a similar one. The facility is actually looking really good. I'm thinking about taking him up on it."

"I didn't know you wanted to be an Avenger."

"He was thinking more a liaison-someone to work as a go between for the Avengers and Shield," Sharon explained.

"You'd be the smart choice. You should do it."

"You didn't exactly answer my question."

"Steve leads the Avengers. He needs to be able to trust his team, so I don't need to be on it," Natasha replied firmly. "It's for the best."

Pepper walked in to the room. Nadia followed, quietly clutching the rag doll that had once been Natasha's. "What's for the best?" Pepper asked.

"Natasha's not taking Tony up on the job offer," Sharon replied.

"Of course she is, she just doesn't know it yet," Pepper replied as Natasha placed a bow in Nadia's hair that matched the one in Annabeth's. "Tony has outfitted your apartment with a lockdown mode. The entire apartment is like a safe house. He even made sure there was a guest room for your sister."

"She says she can't work with Rogers," Sharon added.

"I did not. I said Steve can't work with me, and he shouldn't have to try," Natasha corrected. "I really appreciate the trouble Tony's gone to but I just can't do it." She looked down at the girls. "We need to get going. I'll get Annette. Nadia, why don't you walk with me?"

The funeral ended and Natasha stayed pretty close to Annette. Clint and Bruce were never far from her side, and Natasha was grateful for the back up. With Sharon helping with Annabeth and Pepper and Tony looking out for Nadia, Natasha really had all the help she needed. She just couldn't help looking around for Steve. He was so close to Elizabeth, but he didn't show. She really messed this up.

 **Berlin**

"And, it's another dead end," Sam said as they left the apartment building.

"He was here. We just missed him," Steve replied.

"He's not the only thing we missed today. We should have gone to Boston."

"I know," Steve said sadly.

"Where to now?"

"Back to D.C. Trail's gone cold. Time to go home."

"Then what?" Sam asked.

"I have no idea."

"We could stop off in Boston."

"I promised Natasha I'd give her a heads up before visiting, so she could make herself scarce. Annette and the girls need her right now. Boston will have to wait."

"Well, at least you said Natasha instead of Romanoff. We'll call that progress."

Steve sighed. It sure didn't feel like progress to him. Sam was right about one thing though. He should have gone to Boston. Even if he wanted a chance with Natasha, and he wasn't sure he did, she was probably not very happy with him for staying away.

 **I know Steve and Natasha didn't get any time together in this chapter. That will change very soon. I'm just letting them stew in their misery for a bit. Time to find out whether absence make the heart grow fonder or not. What do you think? Will their next meeting cause sparks to fly or will the awkwardness make things fizzle? Their little adventure with the Dugans changed the course of Winter Soldier (which is good for Fury). How will it affect the events of Age of Ultron?**


	13. Chapter 13

**Avengers Tower 8 Months Later**

 **(11 Months post the Big Reveal)**

Steve sat in the living room of Tony's penthouse and listened quietly as Thor, Tony, and Bruce explained the dangers of Loki's scepter being in the wrong hands. He really didn't need their longwinded explanation to know they had to retrieve it, but they were intent on giving their little speech. He looked across the room at Clint. He could tell the archer was just as bored with the conversation as he was at the moment. They were alike in that way. They preferred action. Obviously a plan needed to be made, but this constant talk of what could happen if they failed was pointless. The answer was simple. They just couldn't fail.

When there was finally a lull in the conversation, Steve spoke up. "If your finished talking about the 'what ifs', we should probably get down to business."

"Finally," Clint replied, his exasperation evident.

"Of course," Bruce replied. "If our calculations are correct, we've got a small window of opportunity." He pointed to the map. "Once it leaves this area, I don't have a clue where it will end up. We need to move soon."

"And, we need a little more help," Tony added.

"I could call Sam," Steve suggested. "Maybe you could talk to Rhodey."

"Not exactly who I had in mind. Sokovia was part of the U.S.S.R. and we do have a friend who practically watched the empire rise and fall," Tony replied.

"Natasha," Steve said softly. "She's a little busy with her family. You said she turned down your offer. I doubt she would be willing to put herself in danger for this."

"If we fail, her family isn't safe," Clint replied. "She would come if you called."

"So call her," Steve replied. "If she wants to help, she should help." Even as he said the words, Steve wasn't sure he liked the idea. Fighting alongside Natasha again was actually appealing in it's own way, but she had children now. She was, according to Annette, happily adjusting to normal life.

"She won't come if one of us calls. It'll have to be you, Cap," Clint informed him.

"You're the reason she turned down my offer. She didn't want to make things harder for you," Tony added.

"Okay, if you think we need her, I'll call her."

"Maybe it would be better if you just went and picked her up," Clint suggested. "It's been eleven months since you spoke. You could explain the mission to her and clear the air a little before we go into battle."

"The drive isn't that bad," Bruce added. "I make the trip pretty regularly. You could drive up today and bring her back tomorrow. It will give us time to get everything ready on our end."

"So, what? I'm supposed to just show up unannounced and she's just going to hop on the back of my bike and come with me. What about her family?"

"To save the world, she'll do it," Clint said firmly. "Annette will help with the girls."

"But, maybe take one of my cars," Tony suggested. "Here are the keys to the Mercedes. Go get our Widow, Capsicle. It's time to get the band back together."

"I can't just show up. I promised I'd give her some warning before visiting."

"Fate of the world, Cap," Clint replied. "She'll understand."

 **Boston**

It was getting dark when Steve arrived at the familiar front door. He stood on the porch for a minute before knocking, regretting that he hadn't called ahead. Finally, he collected his courage and just went for it.

When Natasha answered, he could only stare at her. How was it possible that she was even more beautiful than he remembered? He noticed she wasn't speaking either, so he finally got up the courage to talk. "I'm sorry I didn't call, but we have an emergency. The Avengers need your help."

Natasha nodded and opened the door further so he could come inside. "What's going on? I didn't see anything on the news," she replied, already going into full business mode, but still taking the time to point towards a chair.

Steve sat down on the offered seat and waited for her to sit on the couch across from him. "It's Loki's scepter. Hydra has it, but we've managed to get a location. It's in Sokovia. We were thinking your knowledge of the area might give us an edge."

"What do you need to know?"

"I didn't come for facts. I came for you. We need you to go with us. Can you get away?"

"If you think it's necessary, I can go with you," Natasha replied. "I just need to make sure the kids are covered."

"They'll be fine," Annette replied from the doorway. "I can handle my granddaughters for a few days while you save the world."

"Great," Steve said, standing to leave. "I'll come get you in the morning."

"Nonsense," Annette scolded, "you'll stay here tonight just like always then the two of you can leave after Nadia goes to school."

"I don't want to inconvenience you-"

"You are always welcome here, Steve," Annette replied. "Natasha has taken your old room, but we haven't moved Elizabeth's furniture from her room yet."

"I couldn't," Steve began, "honestly, the couch is fine. I don't want to bother anything."

"Suit yourself, Steve," Annette said softly. "Natasha has extra blankets and a pillow in her closet. She can make sure you're comfortable." Annette turned and looked at Natasha. "I think I'll turn in. I'll look in on the girls first, but I am sure they are sound asleep."

Once Annette was gone, Natasha motioned for Steve to follow her up the stairs. He walked into the room he used to frequent and barely recognized it. Natasha's apartment in D.C. had been nicely decorated, but it never had any personal touches. This room was different. There were pictures on the wall and coloring pages with Nadia's name on them had been framed and hung as if they were masterpieces.

As Natasha was pulling out the bedding, he couldn't resist the urge to look at each one. Several of the pictures were of Natasha with Annette or the girls. There were a few of Elizabeth. Clint was in a his share. Laura and the kids weren't there, but Steve understood the reasoning. Even Tony and Pepper, dressed in evening wear, smiled at him from their place on her dresser. There was even a picture of Sam, Clint, and Natasha at a ballpark. Why hadn't Sam mentioned going to a Mets game with Natasha? What was she doing in New York? And, more importantly, why hadn't any of their friends, who hadn't even mentioned her name around him in months, been plastered all over her walls.

Bruce was in more candid photos than anyone, and, for some reason, those pictures bothered him the most. There was picture with Bruce holding Annabeth while she blew out her birthday candle, and in another, he was sitting on a picnic blanket reading to Nadia. Steve hadn't thought much about it when Bruce said he made the trip often, but now it made him wonder just how close the scientist had gotten to Natasha.

He picked up the picture of Bruce and Nadia just as Natasha turned to hand him the bedding. "That one was taken a few weeks ago," she said with a tender smile on her face. "We finalized the girls' adoption that morning and had a picnic in the park. Bruce bought Nadia that book, and she must have made him read it half a dozen times."

"I guess she enjoyed it," Steve said as he put the picture down. The last thing he wanted to talk about was Bruce's visits to Boston. "I'm glad the girls have you."

"You don't think this was a mistake? Me raising two little girls? Doesn't it sound a little preposterous to you?"

"No, it's good. They're obviously adjusting, and we both know they're safer with you than anyone else on the planet. This makes sense."

"Thank you. I wasn't planning on adopting them. I wanted to do guardianship papers and just be Aunt Nat, but it was important to Elizabeth that the girls have a mom. Annette helped transition things. I guess it helps that her adoption was such a positive part of her story. I'm rambling. You didn't want to know all of that."

"No, I did actually. I'm glad things are going so well. Life after Shield seems to be treating you well. Civilian life looks good on you. Maybe I shouldn't have come. You shouldn't have to risk your life for this scepter."

"I wouldn't have agreed if I didn't want to help. Now, if you're having second thoughts about working with me-"

"I'm not," Steve said quickly. "We used to make a pretty good team. I just don't want to take you away from what you have, Natasha."

"You won't. I have a family to think about now. If the world is in danger, I'm not going to sit back and do nothing when I have the chance to help. I won't let you down."

"I know," Steve said softly as he took his bedding and left the room.

The couch was fairly comfortable, but Steve still didn't really sleep much. Knowing Natasha was right upstairs was unsettling in so many ways. How could it have been nearly a year since they'd had a conversation. Steve felt like an idiot. He should have reached out sooner. She made a lot of mistakes, but she was sorry and he knew it, but he punished her anyway. And, he punished himself in the process.

She was still the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, and it was hard seeing how she'd moved on with her life without him. Maybe if he had just reached out when her sister died, he wouldn't feel like such an intruder in her home. Maybe they could have at least found a way to be friends and his picture would be hanging in her room. He should have been the one helping Annabeth blow out her candle and helping the family celebrate the girls' adoption, but he was too stubborn.

Steve woke up to the smell of breakfast cooking the next morning. He had barely sat up before he heard Nadia's voice. "Nana, Uncle Steve is awake. Can I go hug him yet?" the child pleaded.

"Yes, child, go on. You've been patient long enough," Annette assured the little girl.

"Uncle Steve, you finally came! I missed you so much!" Nadia exclaimed as she crawled into his lap and gave him a big hug. "My new momma said you'd come as soon as you could. Did you find your friend? Is he here, too?" Nadia asked, looking around to make sure she hadn't missed anyone.

"It's good to see you, too, Nadia. I'm sorry I was gone so long. You have really grown."

"I'm seven now. Are you here to take me to a ballgame?"

"Not this time, princess. I came to get your mom," Steve replied, even though the word felt foreign coming out of his mouth. Natasha was her mother now. She wasn't a spy anymore. What was he thinking dragging her back into his world.

"Is she going to help you get your friend back? Momma can find anything. Last week, she found my missing shoe, and she's always finding Annabeth's paci. Annabeth always whines when her paci is gone."

"I bet she does," Steve replied. "Want to hear something funny? I looked all over the world for my friend and I didn't find him, but when I got home, he found me. He's in a special kind of hospital right now getting better, but maybe you can meet him soon. I actually came to take your mom on a little trip."

"Like a date? Are you going to be my new daddy? Nana keeps telling Uncle Bruce Momma should get married."

Natasha came down the stairs as he was talking. She was carrying Annabeth, who was holding tightly to her pacifier. "I found it Annette. She threw it behind the crib again. Crisis averted." Natasha looked Steve's direction. "Nadia didn't wake you, did she?"

"No, I woke up on my own. She's grown a lot," Steve said as he stared at Annabeth.

Natasha put the toddler on the floor and Annabeth immediately put her pacifier into her mouth and walked over to Steve. He knew the baby didn't remember him, but she didn't seem overly concerned about the stranger in her house. When he smiled at Annabeth, she touched his hand then returned the smile. "Good morning, Annabeth," Steve said and the little girl immediately looked at Natasha for confirmation that he was okay.

"This is Steve. He's nana's friend, baby. Nothing to worry about," Natasha assured the child. Steve felt another twinge of regret at her words. He was Annette's friend, but he suddenly desperately wished he were still Natasha's friend.

"Uncle Steve said he came to get you momma. Where are you going on your date?" Nadia asked.

Steve noticed a puzzled look on Natasha's face, and decided he should probably rescue both of them. "I said You were going on a little trip with me. I wasn't sure how much you planned on telling the girls."

Natasha gave him an understanding nod. "I was going to tell you over breakfast, princess. Your uncles are taking a little trip and I am going to make sure they stay out of trouble."

"All my uncles?"

"Yes, all your uncles," Natasha grinned, "but I'll be home soon and Nana will be here."

"Okay, momma, keep my uncles out of trouble."

"I'll do my best. Go help Nana set the table, please."

Nadia ran to do as she was told, with Annabeth following close behind. "Morning," Natasha said.

"Good morning," Steve replied, "you still want to do this?"

Natasha nodded. "I don't think I've let myself get that rusty. I'm packed. We can drop of Nadia and head out, unless you've changed your mind. If you don't think you can work with me-"

"I can," Steve said firmly and probably with more enthusiasm than she anticipated by the look on her face.

"Okay, let's eat. Nadia doesn't need to be late."

Steve and Natasha didn't speak directly to each other again until they were on the road then Steve filled her in on what they knew about the scepter. "It shouldn't be too difficult," Natasha said softly. "It actually seems like something the Avengers could handle without an ex-Russian spy. Why did you come for me, Rogers?"

"The others were concerned," Steve replied.

"The others?"

"Tony and Clint suggested we might need you. Banner seemed to think I should come and get you, but I'm guessing it might have been better if he had come himself," Steve said, hoping his jealousy wasn't showing.

"I wouldn't have come if Bruce asked," Natasha replied.

"You wouldn't?"

"No, I wouldn't have come if any of the others had shown up at my door."

"Why?"

"Because I respect that you lead the Avengers and you shouldn't have to work with someone you don't trust. When you showed up, I figured it must be serious. If you can put aside your feelings enough to work with me then, of course, I'll be there every single time. I owe you, Rogers, and that's a big thing for me."

"I'm sorry I stayed away so long. I should have come back for the funeral. It's hard to believe it's been almost a year since Moscow."

"Eleven months and thirteen days," Natasha said softly.

"You've kept count?"

"I got my sister back. I'll never forget the date."

Steve nodded. "Do you miss it?"

"Miss what?"

"Shield, D.C., being a spy?" he wanted to add, "me," but he held himself back.

"Every single day. Do you think that makes me a terrible mother?"

"No, it makes you an honest one," Steve replied earnestly. "You could take Tony up on his offer. We are about to move into the compound. You could have both-your family and your career. Bruce wouldn't have to make so many trips to Boston."

"Why on Earth do you keep bring up Bruce? I didn't take the job because of you," she paused. "Wait, Rogers, do you think I'm involved with Bruce? Where would you even get that idea?" Steve gave her a sheepish look. "You did think I was with Bruce," she said quietly. "You thought so little of me that you believed I had started a relationship with another Avenger."

"The pictures," Steve replied, "he was in so many of them, and, wait, another Avenger? Were you involved with another Avenger?"

"Apparently not," Natasha replied, and Steve realized his mistake immediately. She was talking about him. Sam was right. She had felt something for him.

He saw a rest stop up ahead and pulled into the nearly empty parking lot. This wasn't the kind of conversation they needed to have while he was driving. He jumped out of the driver's seat and ran around to her side of the car, pulled the door open, and gently took her hand. "We need to clear the air before we go into battle together. Walk with me."

Natasha got out of the car and stared at him. "What do you want, Rogers?"

"For starters, Natasha, I want you to call me by my name."

"Steve, we've got a job to do. Just say what you're going to say and let's get this over with, please."

Steve sighed. It was now or never. "I was angry with you. I wanted to punish you for not telling me the truth."

"I know."

"But, do you know why I was really angry?"

"You made it pretty clear."

"I wanted to be with you. I trusted you completely even though I knew you didn't fully trust me. So, I pushed you away. That day on the quinjet, you told me to ask you anything and you'd answer honestly. Can I ask one more question and get a completely honest answer?" Natasha nodded, so he continued. "Were you feeling anything at all for me?"

"I was, but it doesn't matter now."

"It matters to me. Did I stay away too long or is there a chance we could start over and try being honest with each other?"

"It's been nearly a year, Steve."

"Eleven months and thirteen days, Nat, and I've missed you every single one of them."

Steve pulled Natasha in close and was about to kiss her when she pulled back. "Please don't."

"I'm sorry. I guess it's hard to be around you without wanting to kiss you. I shouldn't have-"

"No, you shouldn't but I get it. Jamaica was very intense then Moscow was even more intense in a completely different way. There's just too much baggage and it's confusing you. You don't want me. You want who you thought I was and she doesn't even exist. That's not your fault. It's on me. I may have been falling for Steve Rogers, but you didn't even know me."

"I'm pretty sure you're wrong about that."

"This thing you think your feeling is purely physical. If I'd just slept with you in Jamaica then you'd have moved on quickly, but that primal part of your brain that was attracted to me is just sending signals to the rest of you, trying to complete it's conquest."

"Is this your therapist talking again?"

"More like my training. It's seduction 101. Dangling something pleasurable just out of reach makes the most pliable mark."

"But, you're not even trying to seduce me now. This is different."

"Is it? Because I am really not so sure. I can't just pretend the last year never happened. Neither can you." She paused and ran her fingers through her hair in frustration. "What do we need to do to get past this? Maybe we should just check into a hotel room and get this out of your system, so you can move on."

"Tell me you're not serious, " Steve replied, angered that she would even consider letting him take her to bed just to get past the tension. "If I get the chance to make love to you, it's going to be the beginning of something, not the end."

"I'm trying to make things as easy as possible, and I don't know what to do. Do I want this mission to go well? Do I want to prove you can trust me? Yes. But, am I willing to fall in love with you again? No. If you want me, it's going to have to be on my terms. Physical I can handle, but Steve you don't really want anything else from me."

"Then, I'm very sorry I tried to kiss you. I don't want us to be like that."

"What do you want me to be, Steve?"

Steve sighed. "How about a friend? Do you think that works with your terms?"

"That I can do. Can we just get back in the car now?"

"Sure, Natasha. I'm sorry I didn't come back sooner."

"Me too."

It wasn't until they were back on the highway that Steve realized she had said 'again'. If she wasn't willing fall in love with him again that meant she was in love with him before everything fell apart. He chanced a glance her direction. She was staring out the side window. He had really blown it.

 **Did Natasha completely over react to Steve's attempt to kiss her? Absolutely, but the next chapter is from her point of view, so all will be explained. Merry Christmas!**


	14. Chapter 14

"We nailed it out there! Textbook perfect!" Tony grinned as he poured each Avenger a glass of champagne. "This is proof we don't need Shield to do what we do! Tomorrow night, I'm throwing the party of the century!"

"Sorry, Tony, I need to get home to my girls," Natasha replied.

"They'll be fine a few more nights, Tasha. Stick around," Clint suggested. "Even a mom needs a break once and awhile."

"Stay, Nat, somebody has to help me keep this party from getting out of control," Bruce added.

Natasha looked at her friends. She did miss this feeling. There was nothing like the adrenaline rush of a successful mission, and this one had gone nicely. "I'll call Annette. As long as the girls are okay, I'll stay a few days."

"Good, it's settled. Too bad Pepper is out of town," Tony grinned, "or, depending on how wild the party gets, maybe that's a good thing."

After they toasted their success, everyone went their separate ways to unwind. Natasha immediately called home.

"How did it go?" Annette asked.

"We got the scepter. It actually went really well. I think, for once, Tony is on to something. These guys will be able to make a real difference."

"Maybe you should reconsider joining them. It is a good opportunity for you," Annette suggested.

"I don't know about that," Natasha sighed. "Besides, the girls and I would miss you."

"You wouldn't have the chance to miss me. I'd visit and you and the girls would come home often. Nat, it's okay to live your life. I'm grateful to be part of it, but you're too young to make me and the children all of it."

"I'm older than you."

"But, the serum has given you a gift. Don't waste it. Besides, you may be older than I am, but you've only just started to live. You just existed for most of your life. Take the chance."

"It's probably a bad idea. Steve's here remember? It's stressful for both of us."

"You're both too stubborn for your own good. Have you talked?"

Natasha winced thinking about their conversation on the road. She had absolutely panicked when he tried to kiss her then she practically offered her body up on a silver platter. What was she thinking? Steve probably had an even lower opinion of her now, but she wasn't about to share that story with her sister. "We talked."

"Good then I'll expect Steve to come around more often. That man may be a stubborn fool, but he's a stubborn fool in love."

"He's not in love. He never was. He was just confused. I mean, sure, there's an attraction, but there's just too much to get passed. It would never work. I'm a spy. Everything I stand for repulses him. We are going to try and be friends."

"You forget I was married to a spy. I probably understand how Steve feels better than most people. It's not easy to give your heart to someone who has to change personas on a regular basis. He may never understand what you have done or why, but the man in my living room a few days ago was anything but repulsed by you. I was honestly shocked to find him on the couch. I figured he'd end up in your bed."

"Ana! I would never bring a man into my bed with the girls down the hall!"

"Well, maybe you should. Natalia, you deserve a chance at love and the girls could use a male influence."

"I've had many lovers, thank you very much. And, the girls have plenty of male influences."

"Lovers and love are very different things," Annette replied. "You may have had many of the first, but I'd be willing to bet you've only had one of the latter. I helped you recover from that broken heart, so don't even try to deny it. Take a chance. He's a good man."

"I don't think I can," Natasha said softly. "It's too scary."

"When has fear ever made you back down from a fight?"

Natasha had barely gotten off the phone with Annette when there was a knock on her door. She opened it and a nervous looking Steve was standing on the other side. "Everything okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I was just hoping we could talk," Steve replied. "Can I come in?"

Natasha pulled the door open wider and he walked inside. "I promise I'm not going to hit on you. I just wanted to thank you for coming with us."

"Anytime, Steve."

"How about all the time? We did good out there. Fury made a lot of mistakes, but he chose the right people for the Avengers Initiative. I know you told Tony no, but I was hoping you'd reconsider."

"You want me to come back full-time?" Natasha asked. "Are you sure about that?"

"I'm positive. Nat, we might not always get it right when we are trying to have a conversation, but nobody can read me better on the battlefield. I don't think I can lead this team if you're not on it."

"Can I ask you something and get an honest answer?"

"I'm always honest," Steve replied earnestly. "You can ask me anything."

"Do you trust me?"

"In the field, I trust you completely. Everywhere else, I'm really working on it. I meant it when I said I miss you. Kissing you was great. I'll always be grateful for Jamaica. But, that's not what I miss the most. I miss hanging out after work or going to bed knowing you were just a few doors down the hall. Can the fact that I'm trying to trust you be enough? Please, Nat."

Natasha nodded her head softly. "I do miss this. I didn't choose to be the Black Widow, but I chose to be an Avenger. I do have a few demands if I'm going to even consider uprooting my girls and moving to the compound."

"I'm listening."

"I don't care how important the mission is, my kids come first. If they need me, I will not leave them."

"That's only right," Steve agreed.

"No honey traps. If you need someone to seduce your target, pick a someone else."

"Like I'm going to stand there and listen to you flirting with another man while I'm on the comms," Steve huffed.

"Steve, I'm being serious here. I need a promise."

"I promise I will never ask you to do that. I'm even going to go one better. If you come to work with me, I absolutely forbid you to use your special training."

"Forbid?" Natasha teased.

"Forbid," Steve replied.

"Ordinarily, I'd be irritated at you for forbidding me to do anything, but I'm going to give you this one, Rogers."

"So, do we have a deal, Romanoff?" Steve asked with just a touch of a smile forming.

Natasha rolled her eyes. She knew he was sure she was going to say yes, and she probably would take him up on his offer. "I will definitely consider it."

Steve smiled. It was her favorite of his smiles. It reminded her of the one plastered on his face when he was staring at the hickey he had left on her neck so many months ago. She couldn't help but smile back. He held up a movie he had been holding behind his back. "Friends watch movies together."

"They do. Pop it in."

Natasha plopped down on the couch while Steve put Indiana Jones in and took the seat beside her. "Sam introduced me to these. There is a whole series. Have you seen them?"

Natasha laughed. "I've seen them, but I can definitely watch them again with a fossil."

"Careful, Romanoff. You're almost as old as I am, Steve teased. "And, you didn't sleep seventy years. I'm pretty sure that makes you way more of a fossil than me."

Natasha playfully hit his shoulder as the movie started. This felt right. If they could honestly be friends and work together, she decided she could be content. This was what she'd missed most. She wasn't ready to say yes just yet, but she had a feeling she wouldn't be able to turn him down.

Natasha didn't see much of Steve the next day. Maria and Sharon took her out for a girl's day. They pampered themselves with manicures and pedicures then shopped for her dresses for the party.

When she got back to the tower, Steve was gone. Clint told her he was visiting Barnes. Natasha was glad Steve finally had his friend back. She knew eventually Barnes would be at the compound, but she also knew Steve wouldn't bring him there until he was positive Barnes was no longer a threat. For some reason, knowing that simple truth made her feel warm inside. He wouldn't have asked her to come if he considered her a threat either.

Natasha took a little extra time getting ready for the party. She told herself it had nothing to do with Steve, but when she walked through the door and he nearly dropped his drink trying to stand and pull out her chair, her heart fluttered. "Careful, Romanoff, use your head," she reminded herself. Not falling for Steve Rogers again was going to be a full time job in itself.

She sat with Steve and Sam for a few minutes then made herself the unofficial bartender to put a little distance between them. She kept that distance until only Steve, Clint, Tony, Thor, Maria, Sharon, and herself were left. Watching the guys attempt to pick up Thor's hammer was probably the most fun she'd had in years. When they asked her to try, she begged off. "Oh no, that's not a question I need answered."

It was the perfect night until suddenly it wasn't anymore. Tony and Bruce had made a big mess with the scepter, and the world was in more danger than it had been when the scepter had been in Hydra''s hands. They fought off Ultron then argued amongst themselves, trying to find a solution.

By the time they went to their rooms, they were frustrated and exhausted, and a solution was nowhere near within their grasps. Natasha was the last to go upstairs. She stopped in front of Steve's door. She knew he was angry with Tony, not her, but she wasn't sure going to him was a smart move. "To hell with it," she finally murmured and knocked on his door.

 **Sorry this chapter is shorter but it is Christmas. Tomorrow's conversation is going to be a big one. Stay tuned.**


	15. Chapter 15

Natasha almost ran down the hallway before Steve could answer. This was probably a colossally bad idea, but somebody needed to talk to him and the sooner it happened, the better chance they'd have for victory.

Steve still looked angry when he opened the door. "Did something else happen?"

Natasha shook her head. "I just thought you might need a friend."

"I wouldn't turn one away at the moment." Natasha walked inside. "Tony and Bruce made a real mess this time."

"They did," Natasha acknowledged, "but it sounds like they were trying to make things better. They didn't expect this to happen."

"Are you seriously defending them right now?" Steve replied, raising his voice.

"No, I'm definitely not defending them. We now have an AI on the loose with some serious grudges against humanity, but being angry with a third of the team isn't going to fix anything."

"I have every right to be angry! I'm supposed to be leading the Avengers, and they didn't even run this past me!"

"Get it all out. Tell me everything your angry about," Natasha commanded.

"Thanks to Stark and Banner, everything we did on the last mission was a waste of time. They didn't have any right to mess with the scepter. It's too powerful. And, their goal was idiotic! You can't trust a machine to keep the planet safe. That's our job. Now, everyone's in danger and it could have all been avoided if they just talked to the rest of us." Steve's face was red by the time he finished speaking. He plopped on the sofa and sighed. "I don't know how to fix this."

Natasha sat beside him. "Are you done yet?" Steve just looked at her. "Tony and Bruce were wrong. They shouldn't have gone through with their little science project." Steve only nodded, so Natasha continued. "But, if you don't move past the angry stage right now, we aren't going to be able to work together and fix this mess. You want to be in charge, lead. Lead by forgiving them and realizing they aren't the enemy."

"I know they aren't the enemy. I just can't-"

"Trust them? Well, get over it. People are going to disappoint you. You can't just push away everyone who makes a mistake. I know first hand how it feels to be on that side with you."

"Nat, this isn't about us," Steve replied.

"You're right. This is not about us. It's about you. You've got a choice to make. Are you going to forgive them and work together to fix this mess or are you going to push them away? I need to know, because I'll be following you into this battle. And, I'd really rather not be on the losing side. We can't do this if you're so angry you second guess their contributions. You may know war, but they know science. You need them."

"I know. You're right. I need to get over my feelings and lead the team. I just don't know how," Steve said softly.

"Why don't you start by acknowledging this was an accident?"

"I know it wasn't intentional," Steve replied.

"Do you believe there's anyone on the planet more capable of helping you fix this?" Natasha asked.

"Probably not. We need them."

"Then tomorrow, treat them like you need them instead of like they're the enemy."

Steve nodded. "I think I can do that."

"Good," Natasha said as she stood to leave. "Get some sleep, Steve. There's no telling what tomorrow is going to bring."

Steve reached up and grabbed Natasha's hand. "I'm not sure I'm going to be able to sleep tonight. Would you stay with me? It may sound crazy, but Jamaica was probably the best sleep I've had since before the war. I need you. That is, if it doesn't break your terms, I mean."

Natasha looked into his eyes. She wasn't sure sleeping beside Steve was a very safe idea for her heart, but she knew he needed her and she didn't want to be alone either. "Okay, Steve, I think we can add occasional platonic sleep overs to the list of things I'm comfortable with but that offer I made a few days ago," she paused, "about just getting it out of your system, that is off the table."

Steve nodded. "Don't worry, Nat. I just meant sleep." He lowered his voice. "I don't ever want to get you out of my system, and I'm pretty sure I couldn't if I tried. I just don't want to be alone with my thoughts. The ice may have cost me nearly seventy years, but my anger cost me another eleven months and thirteen days. I don't want it to cost us the planet."

"Got something I can sleep in?" Natasha asked softly, trying to resist the urge to either run out the door or kiss him.

Steve nodded and Natasha followed him into the bedroom. He pulled out a t-shirt and some shorts she was sure were going to swallow her, and she went to change. He had already climbed into bed when she got back, so she climbed in beside him. Steve opened his arms, and she eased into his embrace. They needed to sleep, and she knew she'd end up tangled in his arms by morning anyway. He placed a chaste kiss on her forehead and they fell asleep.

Natasha woke up before Steve. He looked as fitful in his sleep as she remembered. It was still early considering how late they'd gone to bed, but she really didn't want to be caught walking out of his room. Of course, there was no way she was getting out of his bed without disturbing him.

Steve was holding her tighter than Nadia held the rag doll. Natasha smiled softly at the memory. She had been more than a little aggravated when she found out Steve had given her doll away, but the first time she helped get Nadia up for school, her heart melted. Steve had chosen the perfect little girl for the doll. That old rag doll was now her daughter's most prized possession.

"Steve," she whispered gently, "I need to go get ready for the day and you've got a couple of fences to mend."

Steve's eyes opened slowly, and he nodded and loosened his grip on her waist. Natasha noticed that he didn't exactly let go completely, but she had room to move out of his arms. She grabbed her dress and shoes and left without another word.

Clint was in the hallway before she made it into her room. His smirk aggravated her immediately. "It's not what you think."

"I didn't say anything," Clint replied defensively. "But, I was thinking you stayed with Cap and talked some sense into him. Since it's not what I think-" Clint wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

"Fine, it is what you think. We talked and he didn't want to be alone. Nothing happened," Natasha replied.

"None of my business," Clint said, playfully raising both hands in surrender. "I was coming to get you guys. Tony and Bruce have an idea."

"Get Steve. I'll change and be right there."

 **Barton Farm after meeting the Maximoff Twins**

Natasha stood under the hot shower for a lot longer than she would ordinarily indulge. The images that witch put into her mind were haunting her. She felt like that scared little girl who had just lost her family, and she just couldn't shake the feelings of terror and self-loathing that kept creeping in every time she relived the moment.

She finally turned off the water and wrapped herself in the terrycloth robe she left in her room at the farm. This had been the only home that mattered until she found Annette and the girls. She wished they were with her now, but Tony had sent Happy to collect them. They were already locked down in the apartment he had prepared for her at the compound. Natasha hadn't liked the idea at first, but Tony assured her that since the compound wasn't quite ready, it hadn't been connected to the A.I. It helped that Pepper had also left her business trip and would be joining them. They should be safe.

She walked out of her bathroom and found Steve sitting on her bed. He looked as distraught as she felt. "Clint said we'd need to double up. He sent me here," Steve said in way of explanation.

"It's fine," Natasha replied. "Not much hot water left."

"It'll be enough," Steve replied, grabbing clothes from his bag and heading for the bathroom.

Natasha should have used the time to get dressed, but everything took so much effort. Sooner than she expected, Steve was back in the bedroom staring at her. "You haven't moved an inch. Are you sure you're okay? What did you see?"

"The Red Room," Natasha replied. "It was like reliving all the worst moments at once."

Steve put his arms around her. "I am so sorry I failed you. You should never have gone through any of that once, let alone twice. We need to get you to Annette and the girls. You're done."

"Not a chance," Natasha said firmly. "The hardest part of remembering was thinking about the graduation ceremony. It's the day I was given the serum. They also sterilized me. It was supposed to make things easier-take a way the one thing that could jeopardize me completing the mission. Being a mom, well, that wasn't supposed to happen."

"But, you are a mom. It's okay to tap out and go home to your kids. Did Elizabeth tell you I was her backup plan if she didn't find a family for the girls? If we hadn't found you or she hadn't found a family willing to keep them together, I was going to stop being Captain America and raise them myself. I get at least a little of how conflicting you are right now."

"Yet another reason for you to hate me," Natasha said softly.

"I never blamed you for that. It seemed right for you to raise them. I'm glad they have you. Besides, they needed a mother. Early on, I fantasized about raising them with you then when I discovered you were Natalia, it made sense that they should be with you even though I couldn't. I really think we should get you back to the girls. You've been through enough."

"We're all a little shell-shocked, but our best chance of winning is sticking together. And, the girls need us to win. What about you? What did you see?"

"Peggy," Steve said softly, "we finally got our dance then the vision changed and I saw you. You were running away from me and I couldn't catch up. I tried so hard but I couldn't get to you. It terrified me."

"I'm here, Steve. I'm right here." She turned to him wrapped her arms around his neck. Before she could convince herself it was a bad idea, she kissed him. Steve returned the kiss greedily. Neither of them had the strength to pull away.

Time seemed to stand still as they poured all of their emotions into the moment. Natasha didn't allow herself to think until much later when she was beside Steve on the bed. What had they just done? If there was anything they could have done to make this situation even worse, it was this one.

Steve must have sensed the change in her body language, because he kissed her cheek. "Stop thinking."

"That's what got us into this mess," she replied, regretting it instantly when he winced. "I stopped thinking. I shouldn't have kissed you. I shouldn't have let things get out of control. It was amazing, but this shouldn't have happened. We may have just blown our last chance at repairing our friendship."

"Or," Steve offered, "we may have taken the first step towards what we both really want, and don't even bother denying you want me. The timing could have used some work, but I'm not sorry. We should get dressed and join the others. We'll table this for now and deal with Ultron then we should probably sit down and figure this out once and for all. I know what I want to happen between us, but I don't have any right to force anything on you. When this is over, we'll talk and you can decide what happens next. I can live with anything but losing you from my life. I need you, Nat. I'll be your friend, your lover. Heck, I'll even be your dog walker if that's the only slot you feel comfortable giving me. Just let me be near you and it'll be enough."

"Language, Rogers," Natasha teased.

"Heck doesn't count, Romanoff."

"We'll talk when this is over, but, Steve," Natasha paused, "I don't have a dog."

"We'll have to talk about that later, too," Steve replied, the twinkle back in his eye.

Steve jumped up to dress, but Natasha didn't make any move towards getting ready. She couldn't help but think about what he had said. He had wanted to retire and raise the girls with her before she let him in on her secret. Even though he had been angry, he still believed she was the right mother for the children he loved, and he stayed away and let it happen. She was going to have to really think about what this meant, but, first, they needed to save the world.


	16. Chapter 16

Natasha stood in her cell. She was freezing and frustrated. Getting captured by Ultron was not on her to do list. She desperately hoped the others would be able to stop Ultron before he could complete his plans. When Steve showed up to rescue her, she was relieved and peeved at the same time.

"Give me just a second. I'll have you out of here," Steve said as he worked to get the door open.

"Who's leading the team?" she asked.

"Tony. I know where to meet them. Don't worry," Steve replied as the door snapped open.

"You should have sent someone else or waited until you completed the mission. The team needs you, Rogers."

"Well, I need you. I wasn't going to risk sending someone else. I would never forgive myself if they anything happened to you. My bike is over there. Go west as fast as you can. It's looking bad. I don't know what's going to happen."

"By your tone, I'm going to guess the real danger is east of here. Let's get to your bike and join the battle."

"Nat, I don't want you there. I gave the order to leave you behind. I left you in Ultron's hands, and it nearly killed me," Steve replied, touching her cheek. "Think about the girls."

"I am, Steve. That's why we are going east. Are you coming with me?"

Steve nodded and hopped on his motorcycle. Natasha climbed on behind him and held on tight.

 **Avengers Compound Two Days Later**

"Momma, you're here!" Nadia squealed as she ran into Natasha's arms. Annabeth toddler along behind her sister, and Natasha scooped them both into a hug.

"I missed you so much!" she assured them, covering each little face in kisses. Once the children were properly greeted, she hugged Annette.

"Was that as close as it looked on the news?" her sister asked.

"Probably closer, but it's over. We took out every last one of them," Natasha replied. "But, if Fury hadn't shown up when he did, I'm not sure we'd be here."

Annette nodded. "You'd have found a way. You always do, but I'm glad he showed up on time." Annette looked past Natasha towards where Steve was standing. "I guess I should thank you for bringing my sister back again, Steve. You seem to be making a habit of it."

Natasha looked behind her and saw Steve blushing. "We wouldn't have made it without her."

"Then, it's time for her to move into this lovely apartment your friend built for her. I'm trusting you with the three most important people in my life. Don't let me down," Annette replied.

"I haven't decided what to do just yet, Annette. It's a big decision," Natasha said softly.

"If you're worried about the girls, I can't imagine a safer place for them to grow up. Tony obviously spared no expense making this the safest place on the planet."

"I'm sure he did a good job, Ana, but it's complicated," Natasha tried to explain.

"Uncomplicate it. Natalia, remember what we talked about on the phone. Don't be foolish," Annette admonished.

Natasha looked at Steve. He was staring at her intently. "I'll give you my decision tomorrow. I know you need an answer."

Steve nodded. "With Bruce missing, Thor going back to Asgard, Clint needing to spend more time with his family, and Tony going into partial retirement, I'm not sure I can do this without you. These new recruits are going to need training. I want you to be my partner, but I'll accept whatever decision you make. I should go see Thor off, but if you need to talk later, I'll be around."

"Thank you," Natasha almost whispered.

The girls insisted on showing Natasha around the apartment, and she followed willingly. "Look, momma, Uncle Tony put an N on my wall. Annabeth has an A. Even Nana has her own room, but it doesn't have a letter."

Natasha smiled as she took in the rooms Tony had designed. It really was a nice set up. "Uncle Tony did a good job, didn't he?"

"Nana and Happy said he made it just for us. Are we going to live here, Momma?"

"It's a long ways from Boston. You'd have to change schools and Nana wouldn't be here everyday."

"But I'll visit often and you'll be able to come see me in Boston as often as you want," Annette added. "Why don't you take your sister to play while your momma and I talk?"

"Okay, Nana. Come on Annabeth. Let's go to your room," Nadia replied, grabbing her sister's hand and leading her away.

"Something has changed between you and Steve. Care to share?"

"At Clint's farm we-" Natasha stopped. She wasn't sure she wanted to share the details.

"You made love."

"I'm not sure that's the word I'd use," Natasha sighed.

"But, I'm willing to bet it's the word he'd use. You're afraid you made a mistake?"

"It complicates things."

"I bet it does, but some complications are worth it. You and Steve need to figure things out. That won't happen if you run back to Boston."

"I know."

"So, you'll stay here. Nadia is nearly finished with her school year. The girls can stay with me a few weeks then they'll come home to you. Uncomplicate things before they return, and give the girls the life Elizabeth intended them to have when she left them in your care. She wanted you and Steve to raise the children together."

"Wait, are you saying Elizabeth knew about us?"

"We discussed it multiple times. I have to admit, he stayed away longer than I expected, but Steve talked nonstop about his beautiful partner long before we met you. I told you before, that man loves you. Now, go to him and tell him you're staying."

Natasha nodded softly and went looking for Steve. She found him staring at a wall in the hangar. "Gonna stare at that wall all day, Rogers, or do you have time to talk?"

Steve turned and looked at her. "I can talk. Made up your mind already?"

"I have a few more conditions we need to discuss," she replied.

"Okay, I'm listening."

"If I'm going to stay, we're a team. You don't get to send me away when things get dangerous."

"Even if I'm doing it to make sure you come home to your girls?" he asked.

"I'm doing this for my girls. If I feel the danger is a threat to their future, I'm not backing down."

"Fair enough, Romanoff. Anything else?"

Natasha nodded. "No more platonic sleepovers."

Steve frowned slightly. "If that's what you want."

"It is definitely what I want. If we share a bed, there'll be nothing platonic about it."

Steve smiled and took a few steps closer to Natasha. "Maybe I should ask you on a date."

"Maybe I'll accept."

"I sure hope so."

"But, the girls can't know until I say so, okay? Nadia loves you. She really missed you. I don't want to get her hopes up. We'll have to be very discreet."

"I can do discreet," Steve agreed, taking yet another step toward her.

"And, there's one last thing, but it isn't a deal breaker. It's more of an offer."

"What is it?"

"Apparently, my niece thought if she gave me the children, we would end up raising them together. She liked the idea of her daughters having two parents. I want to get some paperwork drawn up to make that happen. Regardless of what happens between us romantically, I want you to be part of their lives.

"Are you sure?"

"I am," Natasha said confidently, "it makes sense really. If I come back to the team, something could happen. I need to know my daughters would be taken care of, but you don't have to if you'd rather-"

Natasha didn't get to finish before Steve pulled her into his arms and kissed her. "Oh, I'd be crazy not to accept what you're offering, Nat."

"So we have deal?"

Steve pulled Natasha into his arms. "We most definitely have a deal. I want you, Nat. You're probably the only woman on the planet I could really love."

"Peggy-"

"Was a soldier's dream, but you are my perfect partner. Yes, you're gorgeous, and I'm not going to deny my attraction to you but it's more than just lust. No other woman's going to understand me the way you do, and no other man will ever get you the way I do. Face it, Nat. We're two old fossils who belong together. Just chalk it up to shared life experiences or fate, but I love you."

"I love you, too, Steve," Natasha whispered before kissing him tenderly. "I need to get back to my girls, but I'd like to come by after they go to bed. There's something I need to give you."

Steve nodded and kissed her one final time before they parted then Natasha went back to her quarters and pulled her worn out notebook from her bag. She carefully opened it so none of the sticky notes would fall out, and she pulled out her pen. It was time to finish this once and for all.

The notebook was in her hands when Natasha knocked on the door to Steve's quarters a few hours later. When he opened the door, she immediately placed it in his hands.

"What's this?" he asked.

"The results of my investigation last year along with every single clue I picked up along the way. This first section is the evidence against you," she paused while a puzzled Steve looked over her writing. "This section is in your favor." Again, she waited with baited breath as he read each line. "And, things I didn't know what to do with are here."

"Sticky notes," Steve said. "Maria told me about these. I guess you did this so you could move them later," he frowned.

"That was the plan. I added a few more categories this afternoon. These are the reasons you should be angry with me. I didn't bother pleading my case. The section in my favor is blank, but I have a pen. Add whatever you like to either category."

"I don't want to rehash the past, Nat."

"Me either, but I need you to do this for me. Please. I'm going to start a fire in your fireplace while you work," Natasha replied.

"It's a little warm for a fire, isn't it?"

"Much too warm, but indulge me," Natasha smirked. Once the fire was going and Steve had stopped writing, Natasha took back the notebook. "My verdict is in. You are not responsible for what happened seventy years ago. I'm not holding it against you. I'm also not holding the last year against you. Have you come to a conclusion on me?"

"I understand why you didn't trust me and why you followed Fury's orders. I don't have any desire to punish you for what happened last year."

Natasha smiled and threw the notebook in the fire. "I can't spend the night. I've got to take the family back to Boston in the morning. Nadia needs to get back to school, but I've got a few hours. Can we pick up where we left off at the farm?"

Before she'd even finished the word farm, Steve already had her in his arms and was carrying her to his bed. "Nothing would make me happier."

 **8 Months Later**

"Daddy, you look so handsome," Nadia grinned. "You should see Momma. She's so pretty."

"I would love to see your momma right now, but it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride on the wedding day," Steve replied.

"Really?" the little girl asked in wide-eyed amazement.

"Not really, but your Nana and Aunt Laura would have my head. Can you do me a favor and take your momma something from me?"

"Sure, Daddy. What should I take her?"

Steve kissed Nadia on the cheek. "Give your momma that kiss and tell her I have lifetime supply waiting just for her."

When Nadia ran off to find Natasha, Steve heard the door open again. Fury walked inside. "I got to admit I didn't expect to see you here," Steve said wryly. "Guess your plan backfired."

"I'll admit it took a few unexpected turns, but I'd hardly say it backfired. You're standing here ready to marry our girl, and she's happier than I ever dreamed she'd be so that's something."

"No thanks to you," Steve sighed.

"You needed a nudge. My orders provided it. Sure, we had concerns about you, but I know a spark when I see one."

"Are you trying to say you sent Natasha to seduce me because you saw a spark between us?"

"There were other ways to handle the situation, Rogers. I chose the one most likely to lead to this outcome. I got to admit, the children and your past history threw me a curve ball but I'm not unhappy with the outcome. You and Romanoff are doing a great job with the Avengers, and she's finally found a little happiness. You both have and you deserve it."

Steve just shook his head. "You took a heck of a risk."

"Language, Rogers," Fury smiled. "Congratulations. Take care of each other."

"We will," Steve promised, and he meant it. This was for keeps and he wouldn't have it any other way.

 **The End**


End file.
